I’m not a star…Somebody lied. I wrote a post in my car…I almost died. Always scribe after dark, so I turn into a gremlin. WordPress don’t know it got a light-skin negro in it!
If you don’t get the song reference, you should click here or listen/watch the youtube jawn at the bottom of the post. All you need to hear is the chorus one time and it’ll make sense. Anywho…
I was looking through my Formspring questions the other day and came across one that I been gettin’ some variation of for a few months now:
Since you are somewhat of an “e-Celeb” and people “know” you, do you ever think about becoming someone else on the net, like creating an alter ego and no one would know it was you? I think about constructing a secret life sometimes. *shrug*
Sh*t, I’m “somewhat” of an e-Celeb? Are you telling me that all this time I been stressing and agonizing about why my posts consistently under-perform compared to most of the SBM staff in terms of traffic is because people like me? Well whoopty f*ckin’ do! Let the ad revenue and invites to exclusive blogger events in upscale venues commence! **Phones Dear Momma Jackson while tear hangs for dear life on left bottom eyelash.** “I done made it Momma! I’za moving you into a slightly bigger apartment on a different floor of the same building and no we’re not gettin’ rid of my Compaq Presario from high school and freshman year of college! It still works.”
Yeah, I’m not a star. Somebody definitely lied. I’ve been writing for 3 years and I’m just now starting to figure this out. Blogging hasn’t gotten me any substantial
poon and quantifiable beats perks that I could cash and cop cases of 4 Loko with. It hasn’t gotten me VIP access to anything, unless you count my appearance at the NYC Quarterly event hosted by Paul Carrick Brunson…and that other event he did last June in NYC. You know what? Paul is good peoples, but that’s a post for a different day. What was I sayin’?
I break grammar and syntax rules.
This idea that I’m anything more than a regular guy that enjoys writing and happens to do it and do it and do it well wages war with my modesty. I won’t front. I do get frustrated when I see alter-egomaniacs rising to fame — especially when their writing is the equivalent of a rubber sword. I know at least one of you imagined someone writing with a dildo. Okay, maybe it was just me…imagining it, not writing with an actual rubber d*ck. The main point here is that I’ll never claim to be something that I’m not…yet. Let’s say I jump from 1810 followers on Twitter to 5,000. Maybe my subscriber count here goes from the feeble number it’s at now to 3K. Let’s even imagine that I end up in a list on The Root (I like) or some politically based (I don’t) list of top bloggers and/or writers. Notice I didn’t specify race. I don’t just wanna be the best Black anything. I wanna be the best period. But yeah, let’s assume I achieve all this. Then it’d be fair for us to have a completely different conversation about how I view myself and this star-ness. I’d still be modest. I’d also spend more money. And lastly, I’d be more liberal with my middle finger.
I’m perfectly fine in this role featuring me and will always be okay with it even though I know I’ll doubt myself at times. As far as creating an alter ego to hide from the people that are helping make me what I’m becoming with this writing stuff, that’s too much work. But best believe when I do exceed these goals mentioned above, I’ll remember the avatars and faces that joined me early and stuck it out. We’ll be rockin’ out on a tour bus to an enormous computer lab and eating skrimps, gourmet halal, and some vegetarian sh*t from Whole Foods.
I’m not a star. Somebody lied. I can’t wait til they’re telling the truth.
The More You Know,