“Damn. More statements and credit card offers I didn’t ask for. I told these bastards that I wanted to go paperless. How many times do I gotta enroll to save a tree? Wait a second. What’s this overly professional yet plain envelope? Why is it from Ohio? Only time I get something from Ohio is when I been sent to collections–f*ck!”
Not the way I wanted to start my week. Nothing gets me fired up like an attempt to throweth shade upon thy credit score. I hadn’t checked my mail in 3-4 days. And when I did, I usually just brought the pile up to my third floor apartment, opened the door, prayed I didn’t see a roach even though I ain’t seen one in a year, then dumped the pile on my much neglected 2-seater. Most of my time is spent with my 3-cush mocha lover, Couchneesha. Some of yall know about her. If you don’t, then you’ll learn about her soon enough. She’s the opposite of what a good girlfriend or wife should be. She makes me tired at the wrong times and inhibits my motivation. And like a girl that I’ve been with for a while even though I know she’s bad for me, I still love ‘er. Wait, that was too emo. *Clears throat* She lucky she fit her wide ass through that door. Make me some grits heaux!
The last time I really cared about the mail was around my birthday when I knew gifts were coming. Other than that, I’ve really had no desire to open it. It’s the same every month. The only thing that changes in the contents is the number at the bottom. I know that before it even gets here because I see it online. I’m repeatedly telling myself that I’ll open some of it soon to make sure I’m not missing anything. I said the same about getting blinds and/or curtains for the living room window when I moved into my Harlem abode. That was about a year ago and I still have a temporary dusty solution. I just don’t care enough.
I care about that credit score though.
I was sittin’ on the couch staring at this debt statement for 10 dollars and 28 f*cking cents. The company that sent me to the coy collectors was simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar. I had seen the random letters come in the mail, but I had no idea who they were and thought it was more junk. My 2-seater was happy. I indulged her with my presence. Piece by piece (pause), I went through the mail from this company and there was definitely 90-days-worth of invoices for this $10.28. I was pissed — more so at myself because this could have been avoided. Then my phone rang. The timing told me it had to be the creditors so I answered. It was a creditor. It just wasn’t thee creditor that was expected. Macy’s was calling because my payment was due 48 hours ago. I told them it got taken care of last night, but that didn’t assuage the growing disappointment.
A picture is worth at least 950 words.
“Da f*ck is wrong with you? Twice in one night Slim?”
That’s not what she said and I didn’t wanna be saying it either.
Tiring from the stress of it all, I warmed up my signature chicken alfredo and sat down with the television on mute. My living room looked more cluttered than it did a month ago. It became pretty obvious what had been happening to me. I was in a bubble of routines and self-interest. And where there are routines, there are oopsie-daisies. And where there’s self-interest that teeters on obsession, some sh*t just doesn’t get done.
My eagerness to succeed had and has always been a friend and enemy. I’d go to work, come home, write, figure out some web business stuff, talk to a couple friends online, then go to sleep, work, come home, write, figure out some web business stuff, talk to a couple friends online, then go to sleep. This repeated itself for a month — maybe 2. I’d been running on the adrenaline of it all and gotten a lot done. But in the process of that, I neglected some fundamental aspects of my life. It kinda reminded me of sophomore year where I disappeared for 9 weeks, 3 days, 3 hours and 15 minutes then was dropped back into my life with a bunch of purple and gold stuff and groupies.
I looked at my phone bill and only called my mom twice in 4 weeks. My outgoing text messages were only to about 3 people. I scanned my email and found invites to a bunch of events that I opted not to attend or completely forgot about. Facebook and inbound text messages had piled up and some people knew thought I had been ignoring them. You know, the one-way exchange where someone asks you something, then asks if you’re around and to get back to them, then gets angry and says f*ck-it-nevermind? Yeah, that.
And what do I have to show for the month(s) of routine grindism? You’re looking at it or some version of it. I really do love this stuff. I just need to get better at balancing what I like to be doing with what I need and want to be doing. I need to call home more, maintain contact with friends and family, and start opening the damn mail. If I can do those things, I think I’ll avoid the debt collectors and angry messages. Sounds easy enough right? As for what I want right now…
We’ll see.
Walking out of the apartment in 2020 AD wondering what happened,
My roommate checks her mail like once every month. She has stacks of bills to the ceiling (and I don't mean monetary ones). I only do slightly better by checking mail weekly.
It it does seem like it's easy to fall into a routine and miss out on life. Add some spontaneity in there at least once a week, whether it's baking a peach cobbler at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday or playing spades online with a buddy at 7 p.m. on a Thursday (both tried and tested spontaneous moments).
Peach cobbler is definitely in top 3 fave desserts. Haven't had that in so long. Sigh…
Routines routines. They kill your youth. You definitely have to make more of an effort to get out and enjoy the people and places that surround you. Life is way too damn short. Damn I sound like a bad broken record so I'll stop there. When the hell did I become so cliche. I blame age. Ok I'm rambling. Carry on
I can identify with this post, *le sigh*. it is easy to get into the routine of life because, hell we have to do it. I check my mail once a week and that is just to get it out. I dont open it right away.
It is very easy to get caught in your own personal bubble and put everything else by the wayside, especially in your mid 20's -mid 30's because you trying to get your ish together. I am doing this now. I wish I had answer for you. It's easy to say "just make time", but if it was that simple wouldnt you do it anyway?
I support 30 in 30 by Slim Leggo!
I need to hit the lotto and pay people to care of everything else for me and I just have to manage relationships with people. That would be dope.lol
let me tell you how i didn’t open my mail for a while and then i got a notice from a collection agency from this copay i had from my check up. they sent 3 notices but i didn’t really pay attention. of course there was some mix up because i paid the $20.00 when i first got the bill but it was my fault for not paying attention to my mail. the electronic age we live in. smh
These collection notices are serious. I don't know why they don't email that ish too. More likes to be seen if the subject line is legit. The fact that 10 bucks can cost someone 10 points on their score is the worst.
this is sooo me. i have mail from months ago that i haven't opened. i have a drawer that i stick it in. i only open right away if it looks important or is in a netflix envelope. then maybe once a month i try to go through it all.
i'm like this with writing. when i get in a zone, i've been known to not leave my home for a week or two, save for groceries and (sometimes) class.
"I really do love this stuff. I just need to get better at balancing what I like to be doing with what I need and want to be doing. I need to call home more, maintain contact with friends and family, and start opening the damn mail. If I can do those things, I think I’ll avoid the debt collectors and angry messages."
just summed up the last couple of months for me. this semester has introduced more 15 page papers than i care to ever see again in one cluster. but it really is all about balance. i've found lists work. i write a list of everything i need to do that day and i usually get most of it done. lol. i call it supplementing my productivity. otherwise i wouldn't do it.
making 30 in 30 look easy. lol.
I just need to get better at balancing what I like to be doing with what I need and want to be doing.
This is my life right now. I'm also learning that just because I love something doesn't mean I'll always like it. That's a very hard realization for me.
Slim, I discussed this men and their mail thing on my Tumblr the other week.
I don't understand why single men who live in apartments never check their mail unless it's bill time or their birthday. I say single men living in apartments b/c if they're living with a woman she'll check the mail and if they live in a house the mail box is in their view everyday. So, maybe it's an out of sight, out of mind thing. I don't know.
I sent my friend a "thank you" card around March 16. He sent me a text March 30 saying "just got your thank you card". Sent a hand-written letter to a male friend. He got it 2 1/2 weeks after I sent it and I KNOW it got to his mailbox no less than two days after I mailed it off.
I always date my cards (for any occasion) and the letters I mail out just so the recipient can know when it was written. And it always makes me laugh when my homeboys call me weeks later saying that they got my card. Then they'll look at the date and comment on when exactly it was sent.
I remember my first job out of college when I lived with 2 guys. The mail pile next to the door used to be something ferocious.lol
Mail piling up should be a sign that something is up, at least it is for me. I hope you find some sort of balance with everything.
Well if THIS isn't my life! Paper is my nemesis! TOO MURCH DAGGONE MAIL! Eventually I just have to
spend 10 minutes sorting through it all (sounds a lot like work)throw it all out and pray for the best. I hate clutter, but I sure am good at accumulating it. Thank God for electronic debits. A credit score's best friend.I always feel bad at work when I go through some returned mail for some companies who we've sent a couple of statements & warnings before finally unleashing the Collection agency hounds on them. At least you got yours…they don't even get that chance. But for some of them, I find myself wondering where their minds are at. You made a $1000+ purchase and it never occurred to you that it had to be paid for eventually? But that's probably because I don't like keeping balances & I keep a very close eye on my financial accounts. Now that my bank has the app thing going, I can do my thing while chilling on the bus or grabbing a bite to eat. Technology is my friend.
I won't lie, though, the only reason I check my mail regularly is because my mom checks the box everyday after work and forces me to take my ish from her room. When I was living the condo life, I'd only remember to check for it every other week at best.
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