Not for the Boston Celtics. #Welp
Anybody that knows me away from the keyboard knows that I’m not big on celebrating my birthday or alerting the world of relevant personal anniversaries. I’ve always been that way. The only exception in recent memory was the anniversary of the now idle Three Ways to Take It blog. August 8th used to have me feeling like I needed to go out or come home and have at least 2 drinks and something fried. Yeah, I know. It’s kinda lame that I’d be more excited about the birthday of a website than the birthday of the person that created it — which in this case happened to be me. You know what? I’m gonna make a second exception.
On Tuesday I was doing HR things in the HR system at work and noticed my name in the birthdays and anniversaries section. I definitely blurted out “oh sh*t” when I saw it. Three people that were previously talking had stopped to look at me. They asked what happened and I quickly went to the Geico website before replying that I had just saved money on my car insurance and mumbled some inappropriate ish about a bird in the bush. I say corny crap like that when I wanna divert attention away from the real issue. It’s always been effective so I figured what was the point in stopping now? Or is it then? Whatev heaux.
Anyway, the realization that it was my 1 year anniversary at my new job was also the realization that I’ve officially survived 1 year in New York City. This may not seem like a big deal. But considering that I used to say I abhorred this place and would never live here unless I wanted my shoulders-head to explode and to become an extra aggressive street walker, making it to 1 year in NYC is a major milestone. You also gotta consider that I had a very rough transition.
For starters, my couch didn’t fit up the stairwell on move-in day and I had to my put it in (pause) storage, sell it for the cheap-cheap to some Jamaicans, and then buy new furniture that took over a month to get to me. I quickly discovered that kids in Harlem never leave the streets in the summer no matter what hour it is, and that I was more likely to smell marijuana in the neighborhood than car exhaust. Speaking of cars, my mirror got knocked off, a door got keyed, and one of my tires got flattened within the first month I was here. It felt like Hazing in Harlem with haze in the air.
Fast forward to the present and there are some specific positive takeaways about my first year in the H:
- I’m still alive and my cranium has not cracked.
- I haven’t spazzed on the subway.
- I still love my job.
- I actually love NYC.
- My ING savings account has 3 times as much money in it compared to when I got here despite how recklessly I’ve spent.
- I’m yet to wake up in a gutter.
- I’ve avoided a trip to the local precinct, though I managed to get pinched for peeing.
- I’ve kept my bed relatively unoccupied. NOTE: The jury on whether this is a good thing or not is still out. People were rooting for me to open up a shoebox-sized room business for a “fitness factory” called Bodies (or Bodied) by Slim. Suggested equipment included condoms, towels, a sex swing, basketball shorts, t-shirts, and a video camera hidden under a pile of clothes with the lens conveniently exposed and facing the bed. I just wanted to get one girl to wear this so I could victoriously take it off and claim my prize.
- Following up on #8, I didn’t get anybody pregnant.
I plan to celebrate 1 year this weekend with the peoples. My goal is to wake up on Sunday, look in my savings account, and see that I still have 3 times as much money as when I got here. I’m not too happy about my already too damn high rent going even higher, but I’m looking forward to year 2 in the greatest city in the world. Life is so much different now. Well actually, it’s just better. Much better.
Sleepy and Sh*t,
People were rooting for me to open up a shoebox-sized room business for
a “fitness factory” called Bodies (or Bodied) by Slim. Suggested
equipment included condoms, towels, a sex swing, basketball shorts,
t-shirts, and a video camera hidden under a pile of clothes with the
lens conveniently exposed and facing the bed. I just wanted to get one
girl to
wear this
so I could victoriously take it off and claim my prize.
in-ter-es-ting.
im not a fan of nyc. i dont even really like to visit, if i can avoid it. but im glad you've had a good year there!! sounds like a year of survival in the concrete jungle is worth celebration.
best wishes to you on year 2!
co-sign on not being a fan of the NYC.
co-sign on the nyc hate. I really wish my friends would move away from there. lol
This NYC hate must stop.lol. I used to be part of the club, but I learned the error of my ways.
Word! son! you gonna come at me like that! aight son I see you. Yeah I lived in NYC and visit every year. But I have hate-love relationship with NYC.
Julie M. – So cute! I also love the three prints in Jackson’s bedoorm. I know I should know where they are from, but can’t remember. Does anyone know where I can get them? Thanks!
New York City!!!!!!!! Gotta Love It
i'm glad to hear that you are toughing it through and enjoying yourself. Carry on dear sir
Yaaaaaaaay! I remember the feeling of wth was I rhinking when I first moved to the south from Cali – so I understand. But its a fabulous feeling knowing you made the right move.
9. Following up on #8, I didn’t get anybody pregnant.
Ummm Slim………… I hope you aren't in NYC slangin' naked rod?????!!!!!!!!! O__O
I'm not slanging naked piece, but I live in a part where there are a lot of Latina women with babies. Got forbid I bump into someone and then they at my door talking about garnishing my wages.
It's never fun getting a letter from the NYC Office of Child Support. lol
LOL! i really just laughed out loud. hahaha.
There's just something about realizing you surived a first year somewhere, be it college or a new job. I was cheesing harder than the chesire cat when I saw that first year anniversary shoutout in my company newsletter. Now I might shoot myself in the hand if I see a fourth year shout out in September (just playing).
Kudos, congrats and bust out the party hats cuz it's you're anniversary (a la Tony! Toni! Tone!) Best wishes on living the dream for year two.
"I’m yet to wake up in a gutter."
Any day that this doesn't happen is a good day.
Agreed. It's not too far off from waking up naked next to a bag of trash…which I have done.
You can't just type that and then not elaborate! That's jus t mean
and then not elaborate! That's jus t mean 
No NYC hate here, but definitely some NYC fear, so props for keepin your skull in tact for 365. I'da had a conniption after my car was accosted thrice in the first month! On some falling to the ground, camera swirling around, "EFF YOU NEW YORK CITY!", I'll never be hungry again ish…I can't hang with unnecessary, surprise uses of my money that neither benefit me or were my fault.
http://bit.ly/iNGAcN
lol at conniption. I’m adding that to my list of words to use in a post.
So I forgot all about the crime piece of NYC until just now. My uncle moved to Brooklyn from L.A. and the second week he was there his neighbors broke into his place. How do we know it was the neighbor? THEY WERE WEARING HIS CLOTHES! I mean they even took the dirty ones.
Needless to say he didn't avoid #7. He beat dude down and actually went in his crib and got his clothes back O__O. Both of them were arrested.
nina your uncle pulled out some real BROOKLYN right there!!!!!
i. love. new. york!!!!!!!!
LMAO @ the concern about spontaneous conception!
I’m giving you the people’s eyebrow…lol
hahahaha. I was laughing the entire way through this one. I have a friend who moved from Ohio to Brooklyn and his entire living room and bedroom set could not fit into the apartment building. So he got some random, sketchy, homeless guy to help him move his stuff in and then he gave him the furniture that couldn’t fit. He has no idea what the guy did with it. This a typical NYC story.
Welcome!
Congratz! Slim. I lived in NYC when I first moved to America for three years until my parents made the decision to move to Minnesota (yes I know Minnesota of all places). I love NYC but I also hate NYC. Was planning to move back after high school and college graduation but made the decision to stay in MN because its better for me financially as a recent college grad. But I visit every year mostly for the Caribbean Labor Day parade.
first, those SJ thongs will never not be funny. lol. second, now i'm afraid that my pretty ruby sofa, Pomegranatena, won't fit into my NY abode.
glad you made it a year without going broke, getting shanked, arrested, or asked to appear on Maury Povich. i'd say you're winning, sir. lol
This is actually a pretty admirable list of accomplishments. Especially in NYC where you are as likely to get arrested as you are a baby mama. A celebration is deserved.
I don’t hate NYC. Not 100% sure I could live there permanently but it’s a great city.
Btw- “Bodied by Slim”? LMFAO!
This is actually a pretty admirable list of accomplishments. Especially in NYC where you are as likely to get arrested as you are a baby mama. A celebration is deserved.
I don’t hate NYC. Not 100% sure I could live there permanently but it’s a great city.
Btw- “Bodied by Slim”? LMFAO!
This is actually a pretty admirable list of accomplishments. Especially in NYC where you are as likely to get arrested as you are a baby mama. A celebration is deserved.
I don't hate NYC. Not 100% sure I could live there permanently but it's a great city.
Btw- "Bodied by Slim"? LMFAO!
As a native you can hate us all day but we are the only major American city to GAIN population…figure that one out
Loud, rude, dirty, too many people, not car friendly it gets cold (west coasters and southerners) expensive at times for no real reason
Yet we have more ppl here than when I was born and in the 70′s (til the 90′s) NYC was a hell hole
If you aren’t hating NYC we definitely fell off our game
Congrats Slimuel. Surviving any transition away from the comfort zone is applaudable. Savings, new furn, etc…sounds good to me except the Harlem hazing. lol That’s rough. The two best things are you loving your job and having money in the bank SAVED. That’s more than many but you got to work on getting that s.ex swing. NYC is a scary place and like the saying goes: “if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere”
Corny, I know.
Mucho Congrats. I thought about taking a trip down there for my birthday last year, but decided against it. It’s still on my to-visit list, but that probably won’t happen until an NYC resident lures me out there. I probably should’ve agreed to go when I was in NJ a couple of years back.
My one year anniversary at work is next week, but please believe I’m counting down the days til I chuck up them deuces. If I weren’t trying to continue basking in the glow of this debt-free life for at least the next 12-15 months, I’d call it a day right now & give myself the whole summer off before resuming my studies. Ah well. At least I get a bonus to blow on a weekend in Montreal out of it.
In New Yooorrrk mumble mumble and green tomatoes (as my 6 yr old niece sings it). Congrats to you!
New York!!!…..concrete jungle were dreams are made there's nothing you can't do….. My home. I love NYC especially Harlem. Welcome Slim and I looke forward to reading or blog posts.
Thanks for joining the party. Look forward to seeing you around!