Ain't even worth it.
Let me just cut to the chase. This whole thing with the hypercriticism and analysis of black women has gotten really tired…on both sides. If you read blogs or frequent social media and don’t live under granite stones, you already know about the Psychology Today article that set the Black internets ablaze. I’m really starting to think we enjoy being united in outrage and anguish.
The cyclical scrutiny doesn’t really activate any emotion for me anymore. I’ve read the articles on why white women are winning and black women aren’t. I’ve read about the “unique” singledom that plagues those with a womb. I’ve seen the billboards and I’ve watched the commercials. Seriously, I’ve seen it all and have become desensitized.
Someone tried to explain to me that the reason I don’t see this stuff as a big deal is because I’m a Black man and not a Black woman. They also tried to explain how these public references to inferiority are impacting the community and making both men and women question themselves and each other. I mean…I get it. But let’s not act like Black men haven’t caught their fair share of scrutiny.
We have the Tyler Perry depictions, the Black in America specials, the constant reference to crime statistics and the mug shots that are all too familiar on the news. Black men have been called out repeatedly for their absence as father figures and role models. I’m sure there have been “scientific studies,” but I either didn’t pay much attention or I just filtered it out as white noise in the minutiae of every day life. Ain’t nothing new about this. However, there are a few things about the reactions to these regular attempts to put chinks in our pride and hold us down. So to keep my word count respectable, I’ve put together a brief list that sums up my thoughts on all this foolery.
It’s ridiculous how difficult it is to get a large number of Black people to take action or engage in serious discussions about important issues. In the most recent case, why did it take an Asian dude to get us to come together?
I guess the obvious answer is that adversity unites people. My whole thing with this (which more than likely will fall on deaf ears and inactive masses) is that much more could and would be accomplished if we were proactive in our efforts instead of angry and reactive. No, I’m not sayin’ all Black women are angry, but it seems like people gotta be all up in their emotions to respond to something that should have mattered before an article was published. The question for me is how do we get Black folks to care this much daily? Correction, how do we get more Black folks to care this much on an everyday basis?
A good number of social media folks aren’t as upset about these articles as they let on.
People are self-interested and strategic. What better time to rally the masses to follow them or retweet their monumental messages or reassurances of the beauty of black women than after a controversial article hit the e-waves. I know what pandering looks like and I saw a lot of it on Monday and Tuesday. How do I know there was pandering? I’m an ambitious blogger that keeps an ear to the social media streets. I’ve done it before and had success with it, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t enjoy the taste of bullsh*t. If I don’t feel passionately about something, I don’t try to figure out which post or tweet will drive the most traffic to my site or the most followers to my username. Some of these dudes out there never have a positive thing to say about Black women until they can capitalize on the opportunity.
We should be holding ourselves accountable instead of blaming the media.
Yeah, some of these articles and media displays may taint the views of the “greater majority” in terms of their perception of Black people. These events may even make some Black women and women question themselves and each other. The thing is these folks were already leaning in the direction of whatever it is they ended up accepting as truth. A public outburst in response isn’t going to swing the momentum in the other direction, regardless of if our outrage gets the articles and commercials pulled. So basically, it’d be more productive to anticipate and flood the scene with positivity before something comes out rather than wait and react. We all know by now that another article is on the way in a few weeks time. What’s the sense in waiting around for it to hit like a predictable storm?
Of course it’ll take something much bigger than a blog post here to motivate people. I don’t know exactly what that thing is. All I can do is hope that people realize that they don’t have to be stuck in the Twilight Zone of scrutiny if they don’t want to. So in the mean time, I’m gonna keep living my life like nothing was said and in anticipation of what’s to come next. These articles and studies will never be a surprise to me. They shouldn’t be to you either. Just keep it moving and keep bettering yourself and those around you. It’s kinda simple.
Drafting a report on why Asian men resort to writing ho-hum pieces resembling their own,
When I first heard of that article, I did a #kanyeshrug and kept it moving. I could care less about some statistics on my attractiveness. People shouldn't be outraged by it for the simple fact that this is how they have felt about us for YEARS, so why get mad now. Nothing we do or say will change their perception about us. Even if we did all the right things, they would still view us the same way. I don't let stuff like that get me bent all out of shape, for what? I know how I view MYSELF, so who cares about yet another study that puts us in a dim light? I know I don't. *steps off soapbox c-walks out the door*
“I don’t let stuff like that get me bent all out of shape, for what? I
know how I view MYSELF, so who cares about yet another study that puts
us in a dim light”
Word up yo!
I was not outraged by this article, but I also do not think we should ignore it (in a general sense). This article, as well as many other things, have reported on black beauty. We must not ignore that images, stories, media, etc. have an effect on people. For anyone who knows about the "doll studies" in relation to the Brown v. Board of Education case, it should be easy to recognize this article is another reason why little black girls do not find themselves beautiful. I agree with Slim that it is up to us to push for the media, images, articles etc. that promote that black is beautiful. I would like to see more promotion of ideas and campaigns such as "My Black is Beautiful." I must admit I get a kick out of seeing a commercial with a beautiful black woman now, because I remember growing up and not seeing many reflections of myself in the media. We must not let these kinds of articles and media get us down.
To borrow the words of Nikki Giovanni:
"I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended
except by permission"
Shout out to all my Black Sisters. Just because everyone cannot comprehend us does not take away from the fact that we are FLY!
I agree. It’s clear that these types of articles/images DO have an affect on us and society’s interaction with us. It IS hurting us. We should take a stance against it. I’m sick of all the hate we get. Look at all the progress we’ve made in this country by speaking out so we need to continue to do so. Thanks for the shout out!
We have to stay positive.
LOVE that Nikki Giovanni quote!!! its gold and oh so applicable!
People act like they don't know the formula these days (black + woman/man + whatever Donald Trump like claim you feel like making = attention). Some formulas will always work (pseudo celebrity + vh1 = reality tv show). Was I mad? Yes, but only because these articles are perceived differently in different parts of the world. I live in Australia where the black population is a minority and when the mainstream media gets a hold on a story like this *le sigh*, you have people commenting on it who have no business commenting on it. Because out here the black community isn't even strong enough or influential enough for someone from our community here to lead a discussion worth having. So yes as much as these articles are not new be grateful that there are people who even speak out on it and are heard. That article was pulled off that website within hours, the amount of stuff I've read in the Australian media that is way more offensive than that and still stands? Oooooh you wouldn't believe it if I told you. From the land where they still sell "Coon" cheese and think black face is just "Australian humour"… I sign out.
You touched on alot of points I agree with. I saw the article. Whatever. I'm pretty much numb to that kind of criticism now. It's been played and beaten in the media and blog community. I honestly think it's strategic to get viewers/controversy. It's no secret that if you (not you) write about Black women being sh*t, the people will come. I see writers do it all of the time. I never really thought about a comparison to the hate Black men get but I do think the hate we get is alittle different. I don't watch the news because it's all perception and hype but alot of what plagues our people can be backed by hardcore statistics like Black men being incarcerated and having unprotected s.ex. I just have a problem with people who try to paint our entire race with one big brush or an entire race/gender. Or people who take a small statistic and use that to generalize an entire people because studies can be flawed and highly inaccurate.
Anywho, my problem with articles like this is it's not backed by anything. It's all perception and blatant racism. It's one thing to write an article about how Black women aren't parenting as we should, that's hard to read but I can read it if there's stats to back it because I'm all about educating myself when it comes to our social issues…then it's another thing to write an article about how ugly we are. The man didn't provide any data except polling a majority white group on how they feel about Black skin. icant. That's not research, there's no factual basis just pure foolishness. As if looks hold any weight to self-worth from a man who's not even attractive himself. icant. If you want to tell me how Black women can improve on something…go ahead and come with some proof but don't talk sh*t just to talk sh*t. I hate that. It's called HATE. I'm not going to get upset but I will say something. Black men/women should stand together on these types of issues. Part of me feels like the more negative backlash writers/researchers get for articles like this, the less they will write them.
"Part of me feels like the more negative backlash writers/researchers get for articles like this, the less they will write them."
This is a good point. The likelihood of Psychology Today running something like that again is slim. No pun. I even saw a follow up article where they back-peddled to try and be more positive and objective.lol
When I read this article the 1st thing I did was laugh and then chucked it. I can't see anyone really taking this guy seriously.
I said this before and I say it again it's seems as if since we got a black president all media/blog hell has broken loose on black women #OperationDestroyBlackWomen
But I ain't drinking the koolaid though, so I'm good..
I'm trying to wean myself off these negative articles/media propaganda aimed particularly at BW, but the problem I have with the "let's gang up on black women" stuff is that it's becoming worldwide and no one, definitely not BM, are standing up to defend us. I'm tried of hearing about (even if I don't read it) umpteen articles about why BW suck and everybody else is great. This dude is living and teaching in freakin' London and we're still dealing with this on a whole 'nother continent! I mean WTF??
I agree we need to be proactive, but BW can't do alone, but a lot of BM are apathetic and/or part of the problem. I think the difference with how BM were maligned in the media back then (yes, back then) is that it wasn't as widespread and global. I haven't really heard that many negative reports on BM lately except maybe that there are more in prison than college, which has proved to be false actually. Plus, a lot of the media reports were because some BM WERE doing something.
IF your azz is on TV getting handcuffed, it's because you were doing
something illegal (most times).
We're getting articles written about us that we essentially have no control over, e.g. why so many BW are single, why are BW more unnattractive than everybody else on the face of the planet, why BW have a net worth of $5, etc. etc. If BW were out doing illegal activity or actually DOING something, I'd agree it's the same as the media vs. BM, but this is not the same at all, IMO. It's a witch hunt, like the Salem witch trials.
I'm sick and tired of people talking about BW!
Am I heated? Yes, Is it something new? No, but it's more prevalent than ever and I need a break from this country. I guess I can't go to London, LOL.
FTR, I'm not blaming BM for anything I've written, but I'm just saying they're not concerned enough to speak out or up on a mass scale. This wouldn't have even gone down had it been any other community, but I'm not EVEN going to get into that right now.
If this was about BM, men AND women would be up in arms, but when it's BW, it's nothing new. Whatev….
BM do defend BW and a lot
This is one of those articles where bw could use some defending
Now personally, I defend people who have legitimately been wronged…
With BW, it is hard to defend a people who are hell bent on being strong & independent…
It is fun to see that line of thinking bite BW in the ass…
"Just keep it moving and keep bettering yourself and those around you. It’s kinda simple."
That's exactly what I do/did. When I heard about this article, I didn't even read it and I won't either. It's just some guy who wants attention and I won't give it. I know I'm beautiful. I don't need some Asian (or any) guy to tell me why I'm not. What I'll continue to do is be a positive force in my community. I'll continue to tell my peers and young girls that they're beautiful and not to succumb to the pressures of society to look a certain way.
i hear what you’re saying, Slim
Jimand i mostly agree.i think the take way message of much of the outrage is that WE (black folk) are the only ones who can show us how to love each other and ourselves. WE have to be the ones to teach our sons and daughters that despite what the world says about them (be it a scientific study, statistics, or a bullsh*t blog post) they ARE in fact wonderful, special, and beautiful for a number of reasons–namely because God created them.
and you can see in the heated responses (over a damn BLOG post “study”, my goodness gracious) there are ppl who really have issues with IMAGE. Sprite had it wrong, IMAGE for black folks is EVERYTHING. damn the fact that education funding is being cut at the federal AND state levels (and predominantly affecting our poor brown children the most) and this will have severely adverse consequences in the future, since its already taking its toll NOW. but WE collectively arent outraged enough about that. or other political issues that predominantly affect ppl of color, yet we’re either not voting or voting irresponsibly. *smh*
we are just made up of a community who prioritizes differently. and if you’re made about the image being projected, DO something about it. dont just BE outraged.
good post, homes.
"DO something about it. dont just BE outraged."
**moseys into shake joint, greets Gem, and thanks her for the comment**
*curtsies*
” damn the fact that education funding is being cut at the federal AND
state levels (and predominantly affecting our poor brown children the
most) and this will have severely adverse consequences in the future,
since its already taking its toll NOW. but WE collectively arent
outraged enough about that. or other political issues that predominantly
affect ppl of color, yet we’re either not voting or voting
irresponsibly. *smh*
we are just made up of a community who
prioritizes differently. and if you’re made about the image being
projected, DO something about it. dont just BE outraged.”
this whole entire… this. it bothers me SO much when i hear people, SEVERAL people, complaining about the education situation in detroit, and yet in the same breath ask me why i’m tutoring and mentoring “those bad a** kids in detroit.” umm… detroit’s situation is so dire that at this point, if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. especially if you can say how horrible the school system is but have the gall to turn your nose up at actually contributing to a positive change.
yesss!!
if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem
i think this can be applied to damn near anything. unless you’re going to VOTE and raise hell with your elected officials until they change ish, dont say ish to me about “why you mad, son”. because i will PROMPTLY and boldy tell you to #SYAD
mkay… hate to come on your blog and disagree with any part of such a well written argument Slimness, but um… here’s the thing. while i agree that the “why black women can’t/don’t/won’t” articles and subsequent outraged responses have become beyond tiring, these will ALWAYS get more attention than the uplifting positive articles. and why is that? because when someone does write something positive and uplifting about the black woman it gets called pandering, as you have done in this very post.
i think it’s a little erroneous to assume that if you don’t feel passionately about a certain subject, that someone else can’t. and just because someone doesn’t shout from the rooftops that they appreciate or love black women on a regular basis, it does not necessarily mean they don’t. i love the Lakers. you know when i state this fact the most? when someone says something negative about them, because on a (very) small scale, i take offense to that. this isn’t to say that pandering is nonexistent in these instances, but i think it does more damage than good to shoot someone down for writing something celebrating black women just because you don’t think it’s sincere. that’s not exactly promoting a continuance of “pro” black women/men writings in the media
i agree with you that action should be being taken proactively as well, but there are LOTS of positive blogs/articles/profiles already doing so, that offer constructive looks at the problems in our community and offer solutions and call to arms as well as plain old “i adore black women/men” write ups. these more often than not aren’t popular, and get glazed over and left to collect dust in the e-files under all the “why black women suck (and not in a good way)” articles, because people like drama, not “pandering.”
all that to say.. be the change you want to see, Slimness. lol.
I think pandering is about the timing and intention. Timing is easier to see than someone's true intentions. You also have to consider consistency. If you only have something uplifting to say to the masses when there's a crisis, then you're no better than a fair-weather fan that jumps on a teams wagon because they're doing well or because you hate their competition.
I already gave my two cents at GoddessIntellect.com… I wish I could link it…
I still feel new to the blogging world, so I have not gotten tired of the relentless assault on BW. Alot of the criticisms of BW is well deserved …
I can't back the Asian on this one though… Black Beauty is not an issue… Lack of accountability is an issue…
When BW stop being fun for me, I will stop caring…
The accountability point is a good one and it was an underlying thought while I was writing this…cept I don't think the criticism needs to keep coming in such heavy doses. Pause.
I read this post a few hours ago and I just remembered that I wanted to come back and comment.
So yeah, here it goes…
When I was reading the article it kind of amused me how the author used "Science" to back up the claims and immediately I did some researching for evidence that may or may not have supported what was said. I also wondered what editor allowed something like that to published.
I remember one day this Asian woman was saying that all black people are ignorant, dumb and basically we are the scum the earth and I got so mad! My friend (black guy) had to calm me down and he explained that I should not let that get me so angry and people are going to do that until the end of time. That he stopped defending us long ago because its a waste of time and energy. He's right. Unfortunately, these opinions/articles/ads of us will always be around and we will never be able to change that.
YES, we need to go beyond becoming enraged when such articles are written, stop signing petitions–do more. Create a support/empowering group for young black women, mentor girls, write a book, hold monthly community meetings…etc etc. After the article is taken down as it was, there has to be a 2nd, 3rd and if necessary, 4th step. It seems the black community just goes back to what they were doing before, until it happens again.