He typed what? Chaarrrrrrrgggeee!
I spent a good portion of Monday between doing work, eating an assortment of snacks, and reading the comments on my post over at SBM. Since I’ve been feelin’ extra honest lately and challenging myself to step out of the role of Mr. Agreeable, I decided to tackle the topic of why my kids will be going to a top 50 school when it comes time for college. The post was based on a conversation I had with a woman that went to Spelman and pretty much determined her daughter will follow suit. Given my thoughts on the pool of schools I plan to allow my son or daughter to choose from and the ranking of her esteemed institution, there was some disagreement. A discussion ensued that I knew would make great fodder for a blog post.
So I sat down to write it. On the first draft, I left the name of her school out and omitted the acronym “HBCU” from the post because I had a feeling the conversation would go left. Then I realized I wasn’t sharing my true perspective and said “F*ck it. This is how I feel.” The reality is that most people reading the post would know that an HBCU wouldn’t meet the top 50 criteria. Somebody was bound to call me out for being soft — not to be confused with flaccid — in my approach, so I just ran with it and kept it funky cold medina. Reading through it again, I mentioned HBCU twice. Once to answer the obvious top 50 rebuttal of “what if they want the HBCU experience?” and a second time to refer to the initial scenario that introduced the post. My discussion questions for the day were on whether readers planned to restrict where their children went to school or if they’d let them run free in their decision making.
The post was written in NY. The conversation went to California. Whaddafuggin surprise.
The tweets started to come in asking me what I was really trying to say. And admittedly, I avoided answering. I sensed people lying in wait to swiss cheese me up and there was no way I was about to get ambushed at 1am. The tweets have eyes. I saw them all. I closed mine and eventually went to sleep only to wake up and see the conversation was doing 85 mph across Colorado. Now here I am at 9pm reading through 200+ comments with more than 70% not even answering the questions I posed. Then I came across one from a regular commenter, Tiffany in Houston, that chimed in and made a point I’d been thinking over the course of the day but wasn’t in a position to put out there:
I saw this post when it hit my reader last night and I just laughed. Coming back to it now, it’s gone exactly as I expected, having devolved into an HBCU vs PWI battle royale.
HBCU graduates, you don’t have justify shit to anyone. All that matters is the work that you do and what’s deposited in your bank account on the 1st and 15th of every month.
The end.
signed a proud graduate of Prairie View A&M University, Class of 1995
This made me happy. The happenings of Monday confirmed to me that uttering HBCU at the beginning of a sentence or paragraph creates as much tension as starting a sentence or paragraph with “Black woman.” Troops start mobilizing at their keyboards, and platoons of fierce and wordy soldiers march right past the post into the comments section with weapons drawn. If the discussion on Monday were a battlefield, I’d have been walkin’ over broken diploma frames, grammatical massacres, and live rounds of statistics.
It’s crazy to me how little it takes to get people riled up just by saying or typing a few words. I understand pride. I understand being tired of consistent criticism and side-eyes. I also understand projection. It’s been my opinion for the longest that no writer, blogger, etc. should be able to get people so deep into their emotions (there are a select few exceptions) that they’re drained and their day is bodied. People shouldn’t be walkin’ away from keyboards harboring ill-will over some internet sh*t. Words only have as much impact as you allow them to. And given that my post was really about limiting children’s options for college, it’s funny that the comments turned into Bombs Over SBM.
Oh well. I’m still alive. Let’s see what next week brings. Maybe I’ll title the post something with the word “single” in it. Ehh, no I won’t. I value my life.
Offending the masses since 2011,
Preciate the love, Mr. Jackson.
It took a long time for me to get past the HBCU/PWI wars but now I'm 37 years old and I just don't give an eff anymore. Whether you went to Prairie View A&M or Harvard, certain folks will still think your skin is your sin anyway. I'm just trying to get paid and live a good life.
I will own up first, I was fired up by your post on sbm and I have to say that your post here has made me think twice. Maybe a case of a hit dog hollering. So with that being said I apologize if I took your post the wrong way and I am sorry if your felt attacked by my response. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is our differences that really make us beautiful. And at the end of the day PWI or HBCU it doesn't matter as long as more and more minorities keep going to college! And you know I love your bogs! No hard feelings ever I hope
Hey, no need to apologize. I just use this space here to shed light on posts, stuff I notice, and randomness. Def no hard feelings. I just see this happen a lot, so wanted to draw some attention to it in general. I expect the attacks and dissent. It comes with the territory. We good!
First off, “funky cold medina”? Considered that swiped. That made me LOL for real. Second, I liked the post and it was actually very irritating to me that it turn into a PWI vs. HBCU thing. I am a proud graduate of an HBCU but I have never considered myself as better or worse for attending one over a PWI. At the end of the day, why the hell you care where I went?Especially to the point that a person takes personal shots. C’mon son, its not that serious. Keeping doing what you do, bringing the rukus.Boondocks
“First off, “funky cold medina”?”
lol, right?
I just wanted to say something right here cause I luuuuuvs ya. I don’t know why we can’t just be happy with what we do without having to find a way to trump what others do. I love my school but why sit back and say “and my school is better than yours!” C’mon son. Who cares?
This is why we can’t have nice things. http://images.fungopher.com/z/i/F/ziFdQPffb/THIS-IS-WHY-WE-CAN-T-HAVE-NICE-THINGS.jpg
Your post was fine. However, I think the tone led some to think they needed to defend there alma mater, and led others to degrade and insult. Unfortunately, whenever we attempt to discuss education, these issues will arise. Public vs. Private vs. Charter, HBCU vs. PWI, urban vs. suburban. When you don't respect something, its hard to be respectful. Many of the comments were demeaning and disgusting. But not surprising. Not surprising at all… Of course people are going to be offended.
what Nia said, especially “When you don’t respect something, its hard to be respectful.” while my comment in itself I believe stayed on discussion, its hard to not be offended when people are pretty much shitting on something you hold near and dear. its more than JUST academics to many HBCU alums which is the difference–but yea TIH definitely hit the bottom line. the debate itself is played, and everyone is gonna do them…
I’m with yall on all of this. Thanks for dropping by.
I completely agree that any hope of being respectful is lost when you don't respect something. I ALSO think it's sad that people cannot respect someone else's opinion on a matter like this. I promise if people could learn to respect, and dare I say appreciate, others' views, they'd all have a much bigger impact on their peers and a much brighter future.
the comments were interesting. As a recent (read: yesterday!!) graduate of a top 25 school, I never really think about HBCUs, nor have I even been to their campus, and only know about them through the media. But it was interesting to see HBCU alums come out and defend their schools. Still, the main point is how important do you think these rankings are?
My kids will go to a Top 25 school- for High School AND college (i'm not playing with education!!)
Congratulations on your graduation!
Congrats on making it out and into the world of responsibility!
lol @ that caption! And any post that quotes Tone Loc = >>
I was seriously taken aback by the reaction to the post, but like you said, people are passionate about their ish. I can’t say that which college I/my kids go stokes a fire in me, but many other things do, so I prolly shouldn’t have side eyed the comments as hard as I did…the passion is obviously deep rooted and much deeper than where Slimisha goes to school.
I too, appreciated TiffanyInHouston’s comment, but I’m largely ignorant of the HBCU struggle so I’m really the wrong one to opine on the subject.
I will say that I appreciate the more unfiltered Slim Jackson.
to be honest, Slimster, I didn’t read that article for my own personal reasons and I knew that the comments weren’t going to be based on whatever the article was saying. I knew the comments were either going to be a “which HBCU is better” or a “so you’re too good to send/allow your child to attend an HBCU” or something similar
But to answer a question I saw in this article, my child will be allowed to choose which college he or she wants to attend based on what they want to major in and the cost of said school. I do NOT want my child having to live the rest of their life trying to pay off student loans b/c they wanted to go to some fancy school when they can get PRETTY MUCH the same education at a cheaper school
You probably did the right thing and missed the shrapnel. In an idea world, we all stack mega cheese and the issue of cost isn't a problem. I do consider the loan factor, but it's not enough for me to open up the school pool. I plan to hit the lotto.lol
I read the blogs and comment sections of all the usual suspects and after reading yesterday’s SBM post, I was admittedly charged up, but in a good way. I was in my office screaming “YES YES YEAAASSSS” because finally someone saw it my way. My homie, Ashley (wait, do you go by your real name. lol oh well), pretty much covered my thoughts, so I continued to get my lurk on. As a single black woman who went to Duke, I’m accustomed to hate, so nothing I read really fazes me. But since so many people were up in arms yesterday, I thought it would be nice to say I’m with you 100% and even think top 50 was too generous. Top 15 or bust if I’m cutting a check and you don’t want to be sitting by yourself during Parent’s Weekend.
I saw your post. I laughed. HBCU grads have tons of pride for their school. You really can’t say sh*t about an HBCU without getting shanked. It’s fact. I think it relates to the pride we (Black people) have overrall. You really can’t say anything that we
disagree withfeel takes away from our pride. I really don’t care where someone graduates from college. I’m just happy that we’re going to college in record numbers. I will say that when it comes to my daughter (no Slimsha lmao) I will do everything in my power to make sure she goes to a top 50 school…and that’s all I have to say about that. lolMeh…whateva. I’m a proud Spelman Grad. I also went to a PWI for my masters. At the end of the day, its about drive. If you’re driven to do your best and have a well-thought-out plan for your future, you’ll do fine wherever you decide to go and vice versa. If you get in to Yale but decide to become a crack head, you’ll be known as the crackhead that (maybe) graduated from Yale– most likely going on to do nothing with your life. Bottom line–raise successful, well-rounded kids and let them figure out the rest.
not to be more of a d!ck than I already am…..
but if you are a crack head at Yale you become George W Bush.
Meh. I am a proud Spelmanite – does the obligatory, in yo' face, HBCU shimmy shake. But I don't think this is info that needs to be flaunted in folks faces unless you are an HR Director and fina hire me. This works just the same for those who went to the "best" schools – please go have five seats with your I went to a school in Boston selves. However, I do question why or maybe how the debate quickly becomes "top" PWIs vs. HBCUs. I'm sure it's racks on racks on racks of random, no name, mediocre white schools in the middle of Kansas, Kentucky, Utah, Florida and on…that you ain't checkin' for your imaginary kids either.
Is this just general feelings or is this related to the post or comments at all? You don't gotta cosign, but I'm really trying to understand what your point is other than subtle shade and saltiness.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to seemingly throw bows all up in your post. And I don't Spelman shimmy shake in people's faces. When sarcasm font is necessary. I read your post and the subsequent comments on SBM. And I was trying to share why I think the convo disintegrated because it was presented (and this was my interpretation and clearly others too judging by the comments) as an either/or -PWI or HBCU (because they specifically got a shout out).
And what I was trying to say above is that there are hundreds/thousands? of non brand name schools, that are not in the top 50, that are predominantly white and are probably average at best, so why don't they get lumped into the conversation? Why couldn't it just be Top 50 schools vs. everybody else? I know you were keeping it funky cold medina, but I think this would have made for a healthier debate without having one particular sect of readers in their "feelings" and having to seemingly defend their choice and their schools. Anywho. I can only liken this to when Black men say, "I only date white women because Black women are mean, annoying, talk too much, stubborn, whatever." No. That's not necessary.No need to explain your choice to me. And I feel the same with this convo – you (not you slim jackson per se, general you) have your own reasons for why you went to your school and where you would want to send your kids. So be confident in those reasons without having to "tear down"/justify/prove that your choice is better.
Oh aight. Thanks for taking the time to come back and clarify. I did want to respond to one part in particular:
“And what I was trying to say above is that there are hundreds/thousands?
of non brand name schools, that are not in the top 50, that
are predominantly white and are probably average at best, so why don’t
they get lumped into the conversation?”
I actually made this argument in the real conversation I had that led to me writing the post. And this may not be the case with everybody, but my experience has been that when I talk to non-HBCU students about this topic, that’s how the conversation goes. It’s top vs. everybody else. If I have this conversation with someone that went to a HBCU, it usually turns into a “why you hating on HBCUs?” conversation. That was what made me hesitant at first to mention it in the post. Not really sure how to get around it. You raise good points though.
Proud Hampton grad here.
I decided that for my children, they will be going to a Top 15-20 or an HBCU or a state school. I refuse to pay any more than state tuition, unless they are going to a real namebrand aka IVY or top tier school or an HBCU. Based on my experience, the price just isn’t worth it otherwise.
This is coming from someone who graduated from an HBCU (had other options but they gave me a full ride and I wasn’t gonna turn it down), went to a VERY prestigious medical school (a top 10…. and with a scholarship thanks be to God), and am heading to Harvard this fall for a master’s (not as much scholarship $$ this time, but its Harvard so whatever).
Honestly, I feel like I got the best of both worlds. I now have the pedigree that ppl dream about, but I still rep HIU first and foremost. I LOOOOVED my HBCU education and am so glad I went that route for undergrad. I’m also glad I went towards the big bad med/grad school cuz having these other two schools on my resume, I don’t have to justify
isht. Before I felt under constant pressure to prove myself, now ppl
generally assume I know my shit before I walk into the door, and my
graduate pedigree is the reason for that. As a black person, that is
KEY cuz you need all the help you can get. But what was also key was the foundation that was laid for me in
undergrad, that gave me the knowledge and the confidence to go after
everything else I’ve wanted in life. Honestly, Hampton gave me a chance
when nobody else would… and I will always love my HIU for that.
One thing I would like to add is that, when you’re looking at rankings, think about who is making the rankings and what they’re based on. Most of the stuff that goes into rankings does not consider issues that are actually really important to the success of black students such as level of diversity in students and faculty, success/graduation rates of black students, support network for minority students etc. These things end up being very important and they don’t get factored in…. your kid got in doesn’t mean they’ll thrive there. Fortunately for many black students we have our HBCUs that excel in these areas, and are able to provide such resources for the students who need/want it. But in the end, its a personal decision….