For those of us with standard day gigs, we’re getting ready for a long weekend. This means grilled animal carcass or veggie crap, alcohol, and s*x. Well, it means s*x for some of us. I’m happy for all of you that hopefully get a chance to finish, but this week was still one of the longest of all time. Anyways, let me get to effin.
F*ck the Miami Heat right up the poopchute. I hate this team more than I’ve hated any other team in my life. I hate the Miami Heat the way rednecks hate Black people. No real rhyme or reason. It’s just unfiltered hate and malice. No Clipse.
Eff South Beach and everybody that diets on it. I’ma go to an island.
Eff Lebron. I hope he sprains his knee and it takes 4-6 weeks to heal.
Eff that I just had one of the most time-intensive and stressful workweeks in recent history. I really need to hurry up and win this lotto.
Eff fruit flies. I don’t think I need to elaborate.
Eff bees, wasps, mosquitoes, and other creatures that seek to penetrate skin and cause harm.
Eff the fact I haven’t located a cleaning service for my apartment. This needs to get done asap because I ain’t scrubbing these floors and climbing for dust.
Eff keepin’ a condom in your wallet for weeks in the summer. You askin’ for babies and dreams deferred.
Saltily and Bitterly,
Slim “My signature is at a bbq” Jackson