For those of us with standard day gigs, we’re getting ready for a long weekend. This means grilled animal carcass or veggie crap, alcohol, and s*x. Well, it means s*x for some of us. I’m happy for all of you that hopefully get a chance to finish, but this week was still one of the longest of all time. Anyways, let me get to effin.
F*ck the Miami Heat right up the poopchute. I hate this team more than I’ve hated any other team in my life. I hate the Miami Heat the way rednecks hate Black people. No real rhyme or reason. It’s just unfiltered hate and malice. No Clipse.
Eff South Beach and everybody that diets on it. I’ma go to an island.
Eff Lebron. I hope he sprains his knee and it takes 4-6 weeks to heal.
Eff that I just had one of the most time-intensive and stressful workweeks in recent history. I really need to hurry up and win this lotto.
Eff fruit flies. I don’t think I need to elaborate.
Eff bees, wasps, mosquitoes, and other creatures that seek to penetrate skin and cause harm.
Eff the fact I haven’t located a cleaning service for my apartment. This needs to get done asap because I ain’t scrubbing these floors and climbing for dust.
Eff keepin’ a condom in your wallet for weeks in the summer. You askin’ for babies and dreams deferred.
Eff Miami.
Your turn.
Saltily and Bitterly,
Slim “My signature is at a bbq” Jackson
Eff the fact that not all of my fellow bridesmaids are 21 so instead of doing bottle service for my best friend's bachelorette party we have to do a "sexy sleepover" at her house after we go to lips(which has to happen at 6pm because the late shows are for 21+)
Well well well…you know what boggles my mind about the swarm of people who hate the Heat? Not one person I know can give me a valid reason. The Miami Heat are a good team. Look at the Bulls players and their bad attitudes. If I'm going to hate, I'll hate on Boozier and Noah and their emo-ness on the court.It's the Derrick Rose show and that's about it. Miami has too many good players. And don't say you hate cause of Lebron because I know if he would have signed to the Bulls like everyone wanted him to, ya'll would be loving him. The game was good but the right team won. We all know if it would have went to game 7, the Heat would have dominated at home. I'm sure I'll see you on South Beach one day. You'll probably never catch me in Chicago tho. SHOTS.
Eff the Miami Heat haters!
AND
Eff the warm weather we are having right now and I'll probably be on the beach tomorrow…in a bikini.
Have a good weekend!
I hope the back of your top pops and you end up topless surrounded by mosquitoes and sand flies.
“Like” as in laughing my arse off. smh Hater
Eff your post!! I am not a big basketball fan, but I can tell you that the reason that I hate the heat is because it demeans the entire foundation that basketball was built on. I grew up during the Bulls Dynasty when we got 6 rings because of Jordan! Yea, he had a support staff, but look at the record and see that his cast changed just like 2 1/2 men. We use to have times were players were so cocky that you could not and would not find Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley and Michael talking about lets all go to this city and dominate the league. No!! They wanted a personal legacy that they could stand amongst themselves. So not only am I a bitter Chicago Bulls fan who watched his team lose – BUT I HATE THE HEAT AND ALL THOSE PRIMA DONNA BASTARDS STAND FOR!!
Also, Eff the fact that I stepped into my office and didn't get me anything for breakfast!!
blah blah blah Hate blah blah Heat blah Bitter…yeah that’s about all I read. lol Dynasty, smynasty. If you were Lebron, you would have done the same thing. All athletes want to win, that’s competitive sports for ya…and they’re all c0cky. Unfortunately for the Bulls, it can’t be a one man show anymore. Hey but look at the bright side, you and the rest of the Bulls fans have some time to cool off now
EVIL!!! Just plan evil! But I wouldn’t have gone to MIA if I were Lebron – he had better options and still could have gotten his ring.
You fight dirty!!!
hey hey hey no shots at Chicago!
Eff that stupid headache I had all night
Eff running out of rum on the first long weekend of summer (Eff being too lazy to do something about it)
Eff shopping for bridal showers (So hard to find appropriate gifts. Lingerie is tricky. I digress)
Eff my BlackBerry – it’s been a long difficult relationship. Time for an iphone.
Eff having time and no money (and visa versa)
Eff the fact that I effed this dude last night when I said I wouldn’t anymore. Eff him for being so good that I definitely have to do it again.
Dead.
See you tonight.
Just kidding.
GIRL!!!!!!!!!
Eff being 25 years old and using words such as SMANG, HAM, and SWAG. They have no place in my slang vocabulary.
Eff life without Jesus and fried foods. *arteries on clog, but I’m saved tho*
Eff mainstream music!!! Unfortunately, I live in Atlanta where the mainstream music sucks the most.
That’s all I’ve got this week,
Kitty Pride
Eff people in customer service industry who “suddenly” realise after 23yrs doing the same job that they don’t like people and take that out on me with their below than mediocre service. I did not ask you to apply for a job at Target, I just want to know where the red berry nail polish is.
Eff every 9th-15th cousin removed who discovered Facebook last year, heard my mother was returning home for a holiday (Africa, specifically Zambia) and feel the need to inbox me their shoe & dress size so I can buy them gifts.
Eff attention seekers on my timeline who tweet like this “OMG! WTF! SMDH!” Really? I know its 140 characters but there’s no need to be tweet stingy. Use.Your.Words.Or.Return.To Facebook.
eff side effects of side effects
eff this rainy weather not letting me run and be great.
eff Vegas. i'm going elsewhere.
eff too many words to write, too little time.
eff being upset about things you can't change.
eff high arse NY rent. moving there better be great, dangit. lol
eff you, eff them, and eff ERRYBODY that got a problem with Mike Lowrey!
eff quotes from Bad Boys randomly floating in my brain.
eff furlough days!
eff me for complaining about a 4day holiday weekend
eff atlanta weather for deciding to get cloudy and rainy on the weekend…it was 90 degrees all week when i had to be in court and now that i am free to play it's gloomy/rainy day.
eff georgia power for me not having electricity all last night and all this morning – i totally missed so you can think you can dance…
ummm that is all LOL
Eff being stuck in DC and working all weekend. Only upside to early mornings is being able to frolick in the afternoon.
Eff the amount of sleep that I’m sure to be deprived of. My friends do not respect my work schedule.
Eff the fact that it’s Pride weekend and I work at a hotel. NO OFFENSE to the gays, but I do not want to deal with all the qeenie neediness that I’m sure is headed my way.
Eff My apartment complex for charging me to have guests at the pool. No pool parties for me!!
Eff exercise. My poor lil legs are sore.
Eff North Carolina for not being close to DC. Stupid state.
Ok I’m done. Now on the hoodrat things with my friends!! (and hungover mornings at work)
“Eff the amount of sleep that I’m sure to be deprived of. My friends do not respect my work schedule.”
THIS! And eff me for willingly giving up sleep for JUST about any reason because I’m a social butterfly and that’s the ish I live for.
Eff the fact that its technically a long weekend for most I have to work tomorrow because of a project deadline
YES! Eff the HEAT! Most importantly Eff Lebron James 49 yo looking ARSE
Eff that its going to be 90 degrees at the jazz festival this weekend ITS STILL MAY
Eff the man who always calls me "sugar britches" in the gym WHO SAYS THAT????
Eff it at least i'll get some good shopping in Sunday and Monday
Not gonna lie, sugar britches is kinda hilarious.
Eff the fact that my will-power is suspect. This week's diet as been a #fail, and this weekend is not looking good either, smh…
Eff the Bulls for making me think they had that game then losing…AGAIN!
Eff Lebron for being so good, that I can’t even deny it. (GRRRR)
Eff all this frikkin rain, yet again! Can I get some damn sun?!
Eff the frikkin person who was harassing me!
Eff the Hangover for showing me a chick with a dick!
Doesn’t it kill you not knowing how many people “got” this!?! “I’m happy for all of you that hopefully get a chance to finish, but this week was still one of the longest of all time.” It kills me and I didn’t even write it! LOL I see it though. *approving head nod*
I took so much joy in writing that and I actually did wonder today if it was effective.lol. You get a sugar cookie and a ice cream sandwich.
#NomNomNom
LOL i cracked up at that. just forgot to comment on it. hilarious i say. hilarious.
"Eff the fact I haven’t located a cleaning service for my apartment. This
needs to get done asap because I ain’t scrubbing these floors and
climbing for dust."
*senses a visit from MamaSlim in the near future*
Eff being too tired and emotionally drained to really get into any of the blogs today.
Eff me for needing a partner to workout with. My girl always cancels and I went the last 3 times without her, but last night, the Mall won. Workout and wallet lost.
Eff me for having to eff me so often…watch, by the time I have a man, all this desire just gon' fade away to spite me. *shakes fist*
Eff everyone that has Monday off.
Eff the fact that my school hasn't paid for my training and I just got an e-mail like that's my fault
Eff the fact that my stuents left today for the last day of school and out of 125 only 3 of them told me to have a good summer
Eff the fact that I had to check my Granny today about calling me in the middle of my work day to ask for $ for a shirt on HSN
Eff the fact that I am tired as heck right now and I am supposed to be somewhere in approximately 6 minutes
The way you feel abt Miami Heat may have just solidified you as my soulmate.
so EFF the Heat for beating Chicago and not going to game 6, therefore making me stay at work all day Friday b/c i wrk for ESPN and had to reschedule mad nonsense b/c the games got moved up 2 days.
Eff Lenron James for coming w/ this random clutch gene that i haven’t seen in the past 8 yrs he was in the league.
and Eff it for it being Tuesday and i’m just now posting on Eff Em Fridays.
Hope everyone enjoyed their wknd!