Another week, another dollar, another series of effs.
Eff all the cardio I’ve done over the last couple weeks and the minimum results. I’m basically a Spin Class Hero and sweat machine, but the scale ain’t doing what it’s supposed to. And yes, I have been eating healthy…well, healthier. Bout to switch to roids and tofu though. That should do it.
Eff the chocolate cake that showed up on my desk on Thursday. Of course it’s someone’s birthday and I have to eat it. Pause. Thankfully I had a spoonful of molecules for breakfast and air on wheat for lunch.
Eff my cravings as of late for sour patch kids. *salivates instantly*
Eff this crowded train I’m on right now. Chick, why are you jammin’ and movin’ around like you have space? Are you trying to draw a flagrant foul from a sketchy passenger (not me)? This is what I have to deal with right now? Unfuckingbelievable.
Eff the fact my weekend is action-packed. My already minimal hours of sleep will be even more crucial. I just wanna go see a movie and relax. Sigh…
Whaddaboutcha? Get ya eff on!
-Slimington O’Malley
P.S. My fundraising campaign for the trip to LA for the Black Weblog Awards and Blogging While Brown Conference ends on Monday. If you been delaying on makin’ a donation, delay no more. You can get to my donation page here.
Oooh, a place I can come and vent! This is awesome!
Here goes…
Eff GRAD SCHOOL! Yeah, I said! These intense summer classes don't like me and I, them!
Eff the elliptical machine at Planet Fitness. It refuses to let me be great after an hour!
Eff Sylvia's being right across the street from Planet Fitness! That is NOT conducive to me keeping this beach body! *lovingly remembers those salmon croquettes and grits*
Eff Weiner! #Pause
Eff this addiction to 5hr energy! How else am I suppose to do all that work noted in the aforementioned eff?!
Eff this desk chair and its lack of support!
Eff the taxi cab driver that tried to run me down to holla at me. I'm no good to you dead, stupid!
Whew. Felt good to get that off my chest.
Do you really like Planet Fitness or is it the price? I've walked into a few and have found them to be generally lame.
Well, I think in any gym situation it depends on how you utilize your time. When I discovered Planet Fitness, they didn’t offer much in the way
of classes but it was affordable (especially after my contract with
Bally’s was up) and served my purposes. As long as they have the
machines I need and and I can get some work in on those free weights I’m
pretty much a happy camper. Also, I actually do like the atmosphere at
the Planet Fitness on 125th. It’s neat and clean. Have you been in that
one? Don’t get me wrong, Planet Fitness is like the Marriot-Courtyard of
gyms. Def not the Trump Hotel but I’m in and out anyway lol
LMAO @ “Eff the taxi cab driver that tried to run me down to holla at me. I’m no good to you dead, stupid!”
LOL!!! Girl! He was honking his horn and everything! When you honk your horn repeatedly I take that as a sign to jump out of the way not to come closer to the car! So, as I was running away he was coming at me with the car! LOL! Smdh…
Ok now I'm really crying laughing!!!
Eff these calluses on my hands from cleaning and snatching these kettlebells. I don't want to have man hands! Noooooo!
#sexy
Seriously though. Working out and using weights is sexy.
Eff your power to make me blush!
Eff moving.
Tonight I moved from my mom’s house in NJ to dads in BK. Moved for job opportunities and overall fun. Mom took it hard and acted like she had an empty nest. Mind you between boarding school and college i’ve been away from home for the past 8 years.
Eff the fact that mom’s house is cozier. better food too.
I set mom up with gchat before I left. But eff the fact that she is tech UN-savy and will prob be confused about this whole gchat thing from here on out
"Thankfully I had a spoonful of molecules for breakfast and air on wheat for lunch." Sounds similar to what I've eaten over the past few days. Cuz Eff the apparent food allergy I've developed (to shellfish? nuts? who knows…) and Eff the $125 emergency room co-pay I had to pay and Eff the fact that I'm now scared to eat ANYTHING cuz I don't yet know exactly what I'm allergic to. This makes for one hell of a weekend.
"Thankfully I had a spoonful of molecules for breakfast and air on wheat for lunch." Sounds similar to what I've eaten over the past few days. Cuz Eff the apparent food allergy I've developed (to shellfish? nuts? who knows…) and Eff the $125 emergency room co-pay I had to pay and Eff the fact that I'm now scared to eat ANYTHING cuz I don't yet know exactly what I'm allergic to. This makes for one hell of a weekend.
Eff Word Press b/c they won’t let my gravatar show up
Eff that I can’t remember what else I wanted to say here
(I may be back later if it comes to me)
Eff being broke in the pursuit of following my passion.
Eff my lawn service for being 2 weeks late, got the crib lookin’ all abandoned n ish.
Eff shin splints.
That’s all I got in me today….
I hope you didn't get shin splints from walking up the stairs. That would make me sad.
No stairs
I’ve been increasing my miles as I’m training for a half marathon. My legs are a little weary…
Yo. Lawn care/yard work is real in the field. I was outside DYING.
And this is why I ended up hiring a service, because that yard work struggle is real. And if I'm home while the lawn guys are doing their thing, I definitely offer up beverages and what not. It ain't a game.
Eff the hypocrisy on twitter and the freedom to display stupidity it offers for some basic folks……
Eff trying to get in shape for summer, all i wanna do is eat chocolate cake and watch tv all weekend but no, i got to go running
I may have to go pray later, but:
Eff the fact that my babysitter damn near burned my townhouse to the ground…yeah, I fired her
Eff the potholes in DC and Va. They should give out tire vouchers. I have a hubcap somewhere on I95
Eff student loans…going to law school seemed like such a great idea at the time. :-/
Eff the rude people that keep walking past my office and staring in like there’s some damn side show going on. Yes, they gave the black chick an office and a phone.
I wait every week for Eff em Fridays!
Eff the fact I was at a dental school yesterday, scoping out prospects, and they all seemed gay!
Eff my brother for not introducing me to any of his buddies.
Eff the fact I have to go back home Sunday, and I don't want to.
Eff my diet, I am going to eat all 9 bags of this candy I bought.
Eff my northern brethren for being jerks, my southerners are sooo nice.
Screw it, eff the north, I'm moving south!
We ain't all jerks girl. We ain't all jerks.
I know…I'm from the North..well…whatever they consider Ohio…but…people in the south speak to you, and I didn't have to get the stink face from females when I'm with my BROTHER!
Yes. Come down south.
I'm seriously thinking about it…
pause.
Ahahahaha, I just got that!
Eff the cafeteria food @ the hospital where my mom is staying…potato dandelion soup. I am def. passing on that
Eff the fact that R. Kelly didn't sing "Trapped in the Closet" at the concert last night
Eff my ex for seeing me @ the after party and feeling the need to remain in my space no matter how many spin moves I pulled
Ahhhhh Eff it!!! He doesn't know this blog exist.
Eff last nites 5 minute session, WTF!! I don't care it's been 3 months, you should've drank another Guiness *sucksteeth*
Eff that I got all exfoliated/plucked/waxed/greased up for nuffin *grrrrrr* this. right. here. is time consuming — it took longer than YOU did. *eyeroll*.
Eff that smile on your face and drool in the corner of your mouth while sleeping — little did you know I'm sitting up here wishing I could suffocate you azz by just looking at you.
Eff I couldn't find any AA batteries
#EndRant.
wow.
Dang….I have nothing else to say…
Oohhh.
TMI???
My bad.. *Shrug*
LOL, no, not TMI…just I feel for you…
He should’ve at least went back in for round 2 or ate you out of your rage.
ate you out of your rage..
*lmao*
Ummm, sounds good in theory but NO.
Oh my damn!
OMG I CANT BREATHE!! ROTFL
eff my nerves. i had a 2nd job interview recently and am currently on pins & needles waiting to see if i got the job. it's got me on edge & i couldn't even sleep last night.
motherEFF my cousin from france who came for a vacation even when my parents told him not to come. he originally wanted to stay for 6 weeks (man what?!), and my pops specifically told him not to come at all. AT ALL. but he came anyways. he cut it from 6 weeks to 3, but still, nobody wants you here. thanks for inconveniencing us for the next 3 weeks, monsieur jackass.
Looks like this is the spot for Friday effs (pause). Glad to see it return.
Eff this programmer for not writing any unit tests. Wrote 5 whole frameworks and ZERO unit tests. Not one. Now I have to go back and test everything b/c we have no idea if it really works. On top of that he's Apple fan-boy. Nah son… Want to do things the "apple way" just for kicks/looks. Can we think about functionality?
Eff choosing a build system.
Eff this department teasing me that I'll be teaching an official grad-school course. Then turn around talking about only faculty can do that, while all it takes is the dept head to create a special topics course and have a faculty member on file for looks. Calling my ish a semester long "workshop." I'm the expert here on this. It's cool though… I got the faculty behind me. This battle isn't over.
Eff the fact that I haven't got around to ordering a new desktop machine. I want the 8 core Mac Pro but how do I justify that ish when it costs more than our servers we just ordered? lol
Eff comcast.
Eff the fact that I'm STILL stuck on my database project. -_______-
Ok my inner tech nerd loved everything about this. Effs to follow….
Eff my sorry ass tenant who hasn't paid her rent this month, still owes $200 from May and over $2,000 in late fees!
Eff my daughter's father for having to be forced to help take care of his child!
Eff my upcoming birthday. My life is nowhere near where it should be or where I want it to be. And I have no $ to go out and blow off steam.
Eff opening up to someone who's been telling me I keep to much to myself. That I can tell him anything. So I did. His response…."oh. I don't know what to say."
Eff this weekend. My kids haven't seen their dad in months and I know they will miss him sorely on Father's Day. Eff him for not thinking more of them and less of himself.
Eff the bottle of wine I drank the night before last. HOW LONG can one hangover last???
Eff the fact that the Adele concert is cancelled tonight.
Eff the fact that when they do reschedule the concert I won't be living in Atlanta anymore.
Eff moving my friends from high school trying to guilt trip me into going to our class reunion this weekend. I see the sane dusty dudes walking around Lenox every weekend. I'm cool on that, they're doing the same ish they were doing 10 years ago.
Eff the fact I've been out of high school for 10 years, damn I'm getting old.
Eff the creepy men at bally's, waving and trying to engaging in conversation while I'm running on the treadmill is annoying as all hell. Please stop it!
#winning
Eff working from home, I don’t know how to be very productive here yet.
Eff fam for not respecting my space when I have to work from home.
Eff the boss for giving me work all times of day just because we telecommute. Sir, you should not be Skype-ing me before 9.
Eff not having set hours, so I end up working well into the night.
Eff having to walk ~30 blocks with as many belongings I can carry on my back to the bus depot, so I get my behind from bumblef**k PA to NYC later today
Although I complained about this job, I am very fortunate to have this paid internship considering I just graduated a month ago. This really is a great opportunity.
Eh my coworker playing those ‘single mom’ struggles games–taking off every time it’s nice outside under the guise of her kids being sick. Why is that kid never sick when she’s with her dad?
Eff me for not living closer to action. I don’t want to have to drive anywhere this weekend but I want to be places that don’t involve a date.
Alright, here I go.
Eff my metabolism. I’m tired of eating. Let me be great! #dammit
Eff my boss for hiring me because I’m pretty and reminding me of it ALL the time.
Eff me for having too much education and too little experience…if things were different, maybe I’d be able to find a boss who didn’t flirt so much.
Eff my sister for making me drive 4 hours to Mississippi so my nephew can spend a few weeks with me AND for sending him here with $0. I love him to death, but I can’t afford to feed this football player!!
Eff this dude for calling me at 5:00 pm Thursday….ninja I know you only call during the day when you’ll be too busy f***ing off at night. #bastard
And eff you for monitoring my tweets.
Eff long-distance anything…this ish is for the birds.
Eff traffic…I’m too impatient for this ish.
Eff work. I’m dippin’ at lunch & this sexist pig better not say a thing to me.
HR-Dar is going off. Yikes.
Eff this frickin fly that won’t leave me the eff alone! I’m dippin for real.
Eff this thunderstorm in NYC right now!
The return of Eff Em Fridays blesses my spirit! *waves hand in the air* Here goes…
Eff work. I like having a job, but eff all this WORK. This ish is ridiculous. I'm just walking around today keeping quiet and smiling b/c I'm afraid I'll stab someone in the throat otherwise.
Eff the management team for locking us in a freaking war room for the last two weeks. The sound of these people breathing is getting on my last nerve.
EFF EFF EFF tomorrow's 8 am conference call/production portal validation. No parts of me want to be awake that early on a Sat working.Eff this celibacy drought. I mean, it's self-induced, but still….Efff The Young One for trying to end aforementioned drought, right after he said he respected my decision. Sexy little liar.
Eff whoever's in charge of my To-Do list. I'm gonna need you to fall the hell back w/these items.
Eff the grandpa who tricked me into having drinks and watching the hockey game w/him the other night. Your sneak-attack kisses at the commercial break were not appreciated, sir.
Eff running. I think we need to see other people. ASAP
Finally, EFF working out…and eff Jillian Micheals AND her 30-Day Shred! How she manages to make me feel like I suck at all things fitness through the TV screen, I still have yet to understand.
Amen.
*plots OPERATION: Work Escape*
Yesss!!!!
LMBO at "Eff this celibacy drought!" ME TOOOO!! EFF THAT ISH, YO! LOL
LMBO at "Eff running. I think we need to see other people. ASAP" Hahaha! You feel my pain!
Yes, I am on the same page, Eff this celibacy drought…even if it is self induced! Shoot!
Eff the grandpa who tricked me into having drinks and watching the hockey game w/him the other night. Your sneak-attack kisses at the commercial break were not appreciated, sir.
OMG!!!!! *deceased*
Eff these Spanish Lessons! Lesson 2 won’t let me be great! Estoy cansada de esta ish!
Ok, I think I am done for this Friday.
I've just became aware of this site a few weeks ago and since then I have perused it quite frequently. I usually don't comment much but when I noticed the donation link it appalled me! As I sit here looking at my student loans and revolving credit, I'm taken by the fact that people would donate to someone who could possibly be making more than them a year. I understand everyone needs a little help every now and then but a promised video taped thank you and amateur advice isn't worth hard earned money that could be used toward a bill or just to by myself something other than someone else's time. I wonder if I set up a website to help raise money for my student loans how many contributions I would receive????……….
What's dat I smell? The bitter stank of hateration? Ain't nobody holdin a gun to your head girlie.
Eff bitterness.
No, eff people with jobs begging for money when there are homeless people on the streets that we don't think twice about helping.
Now why on earth would I give my hard earned money to someone beggin' on the street, everyday, same spot, same story? GTFOH The same way they can beg for change is the same way they can beg for a job! Honest pay for an honest day of work!!
Well, you don't have to contribute you know. It's not like, uhm,
required and stuff. Just like he doesn't have to run a free site.
I know! Set up a donation box to collect money to start your own blog;
where you can stand on your own soapbox, in your own space.
Uhm…. Bitter table of one? Right here!
Not bitter, just observant
You are acting as if it is required of you to donate, it is not. Why come on someone's PERSONAL blog and get upset and what he does? If you are here quite frequently, you would have read the blog which he explained why there is a donation link.
Get yourself together, bitterness is not becoming…
It's so PERSONAL that it's on the WORLD WIDE WEB….
Sister. Donation is a choice. We frequent Slim's page cause well obviously he's doing something right. That being said, if you don't want to donate that's cool. Re: your student loans, etc: Instead of counting another's pockets come up with a plan that works for you and proceed accordingly
Exactly instead of me counting on another's pockets I should come up with a plan that works for me….hmmm same for him instead on counting on other peoples pockets he should come up with another plan…. how profound. I don't mean to come across as bitter but I do have my own opinions about certain things and if Slim or anyone else can't accept what may seem as negative feedback then maybe he shouldn't have a website that is public to EVERYONE. That is all.
Don't want to get into some cyber shouting match or whatnot, but you sound bitter! You are worked up over something that you could have just ignored! DANG! You may just need minor, or major surgery to have that stick extricated from you know where because…. well…you bitter!
I do not mean that he is literally counting on anyone's pockets or that you should either. What I meant was don't "count his pockets" meaning don't worry about how much money he has in his pockets. Decide what you want to do about your situation (school loans, etc) and take action. You might be surprised how much people support you.
Eff last semester its over! Yes I know its Monday… Eff Monday too!
Eff that I am still tired from a 20 + hour a day 7 day shoot…that happened last week!
Eff my rowdy neighbors and block I hope it rains all week! Thats the only thing that keeps them in and quiet!
Eff that I bought new running sneakers and haven’t used them once!
etc., etc., etc.!