This was a roller coaster week for obvious reasons. I still feel some type of way right now. Nonetheless, let me get to effing.
Eff domestic violence. That sh*t is wack b.
Eff the state of mental and emotional health awareness in the (black/latino) community. The information is out there, but the people who need it aren’t seeking it in high enough numbers.
Eff this weight I’m tryin’ to lose right now. I’m really about to turn to air sandwiches, twigs, and berries dat don’t dingle.
Eff broken equipment at the gym. A man can’t do the chest fly machine or lat pull downs? Da f*ck is going on around here?
Eff my relapse. I’m back on sour patch kids. Jesus take the wheel.
Eff the fact that I’m still laughing at this Whole Foods Parking Lot song.
Unleash your eff ‘ems. It’s cathartic!
It’s gettin’ real on the Slim Jax Bloggin’ Spot,
Slim “Riding Silent in My Prius” Jackson
P.S. Today is the last day of my fundraising campaign. If you’d like to contribute, please make sure you make the magic happen today. Thanks.
Eff the stomach bug that went through my family this week.
Eff not working out this week because of said stomach bug.
Eff all the rain that kept us in this week.
Eff the contractor for getting our marble tub wrong in our new house. Ugh!
PS Slim you might want to look into the Warrior Diet by Ori Hofmekler.
My first Eff Em Friday so here goes:
Eff the dude who's been hollering at me for the last 2 weeks but has a girl
Eff said dude for dropping the "me and my girl" line when us hanging out comes up
Eff this summer body project that has me at the gym almost every day
Eff ex-bfs who think they can just pop in and out whenever .. no sir.
It sounds like you need to stay way from the mens for a little while.lol. Thanks for dropping by!
eff bosses who make me want to go “red stapler Office Space” in a professional setting.
eff men who don’t know what they want until its gone
eff 9-5 making me tired and need to be in bed by 9pm.
and
eff people on the exec board who don’t respond to emails for three weeks ( I am president btw)
“red stapler Office Space” is now about to be adopted as a phrase to describe work related blow ups. Thank you for this.
Eff a boss who never tells you when he’s going to be out.
Eff that boss again b/c that ish really raises my blood pressure!!
Eff that I can’t make a decision at work without being slapped on the hand for ‘thinking’!
Eff work and my going to a baseball game in the name of team building when I HATE the sport with a passion.
Eff this job!
I cosign your eff about the boss leaving early. I hate that. If I try to leave alittle bit early one rare day, she has to know every reason why like an interrogation yet this b*tch puts on her roller skates every Friday and skates outta here by 2pm without saying a word.
Eff my date for my girl's wedding last week who tried to use my vulnerability of my mom's hospitalization for his benefit (like I just fell off of the turnip truck) GTFOH
Eff the fact that it's been raining like a mofo
Eff the fact that I can not access my Netflix account at the hospital because it is blocked…seriously…so that $ was spent this month for not
Eff the fact that dude in the cafeteria tried to holler at me when I asked for more Nacho Cheese Doritos (it was not a line, I really wanted the dang Doritos)
Eff having a conscious. Take that as you will.
Eff living so far away from my family. I realized the other day that my grandparents are in fact old and my parents are getting older. I need to get home more.
Eff that the "do-gooder" jobs don't pay as well as Corporate America. I
feel like I should be doing something for humanity with my talents, but
Sallie Mae doesn't except morals as payment.
Eff the construct of a 9am – 5pm. If I don't need to do anything during certain hours, or the whole day, why do I need to be in the office? I could use this time for other things than just looking like I'm busy.
With that said, eff not being able to hit the gym as much as I'd like. Excess levels of testosterone make Seattle an angry, angry man.
Eff you?
nah dog. eff her.
eff crying in the middle of the day because you read a good story
eff being a girl – these cramps UGH (ok which can explain crying mid-day huh)
eff my girl wanting to drag me to see R Kelly tomorrow REALLY R KELLY???? but hell I have no other plans this weekend.
eff this dude who thinks he's going to wear me down – it ain't gone happen
eff my ex for telling me he still loves me but he knows its not enough EFF YOU NUCCA!
I'm dying laughing at you asking Jesus to take the wheel. lol I love Sour Patch Kids. I also think the commercials sum up my personality. lol And the Whole Foods Parking Lot song will never not be funny to me.
I got some sh*t I need to get off my chest, I need this.
Eff my baby father's mother. Efffffffff daaaaaat beeeeeeeeeeitch. I don't want the mini me around your crazy arse plus your house is dirty. That's the breaks…h0e.
Eff me for buying a $300 chair on Overstock, it getting back ordered for over a month, me forgetting about it then BAM! that sh*t was debited from my checking account today. Fcuk.
Eff having gas, not being able to pass it cause I'm at work and now my stomach is bubbling. I know if I let it go in my office, some dumb @ss will walk in. I hate that. I'm too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Stop laughing at me.
Eff the TMI I drop online. Is this a posdapedic? I don't normally do this but I just feel so comftable!
That one about cuttin’ the cheese made me hold my breath. Not even gonna front.
YESSSS…It’s Friday!!!
Eff this dumb ass weather, it obviously doesn’t want me to be great!
Eff the guitarist last night who looked too much like my ex!
Eff the poet last night who told my life story and walked off! TRICK!!!
Eff the Starburst Jelly Beans who keep calling my name. I’m on a diet, leave me alone!
Eff my sister’s new dog for making my allergies go haywire. I am constantly popping Zyrtec like an addict!
Eff this little heffa for passing gas right next to me! Stanking booty little hoe!!!
Eff me not being able to sleep at night, so at 1 pm…I’m still sleepy as hell!
Eff these m-fers coming out the woodwork like I care. GTFOH
Eff these m-fers getting upset when I say “I’m celibate” then think I am joking. GTFOH trollop!
Oh, and Eff Slim for posting that darn Whole Foods video that I CAN’T stop laughing at!!!
Starburst Jelly Beans and Jelly Bellys eff um eff um eff um UGH!
Yes, eff them both!!!!!
Eff the fact this entire week went by, and while I existed, I LIVED none of it.
Eff this cold I’m fighting off.
Eff this stalker that called 18 times the same EVENING (not even day) that he got my #
Eff giving out my number again.
Eff this shoe store that wants 5 yr experience for a stock clerk.
Eff this damn job market.
Eff having 3 degrees and having such a hard time getting work.
Eff it taking me so long to realize and eject the toxic people in my life.
Whew! I feel better! Aretha Franklin free concert tonight in T dot! #winning
Eff bills….I mean, people did fine for years without electricity, right?
Eff ESPN….wth am I gonna do ’til football season? Who the frick watches baseball, anyway?
Eff that “good girl” image I maintained for so long….hoez stay winning, and I’m tired of losing (remind me of this the next time I run out of a guy’s apartment cuz he won’t keep his hands off me).
Eff the lames who cyber-stalk me. I really need to learn how to stop worrying about guys’ feelings and cutting them loose.
Eff this 10 page paper about urban vernacular I’m s’ppose to be finished with by midnight
Eff the 7 more pages I have to go
Eff that peanut butter brown sugar cookie I just inhaled (the sugars!)
Eff the housework filled weekend ahead of me
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