F*ck yeah. Bring it! I don't eat watermelon doe.
I’ve been aggressively hitting the gym for about a month now and I’m down 5 pounds. Shout out to Foursquare for giving me the gym rat badge and confirming my seriousness about fitness for the masses. I’m to the point where I feel bad if I don’t go to the gym. That’s the easy part. So what’s the challenge? My eating…and no, I don’t mean warm meow.
I love food. It brings me joy during times of pain and increases my happiness during times of peace and prosperity. Food may be my favorite thing right behind being the recipient of orally administered skeet extraction, writing, and playing basketball. Whether this is a good thing or not isn’t up for debate. Whether sex itself will move up this list anytime soon is.
For the last month and change, I’ve been holding my breath when walking past the hood Chinese food spots. I’ve pinched my nose when passing the golden arches. I’ve turned the other cheek when slapped in the face by the same aromas that have caused me to put on the weight that I’m now trying to lose. I’m fine at this by myself, but I’m fat when we’re together when I get around friends and co-workers…
I fail. I’m okay with it, but I fail.
I’ve seen more cakes, cookies, and fried goodness in the last month than I’ve seen in the previous 3. F*ckin’ birthdays and sh*t and unnecessary profanity. The amount of carbonated beverages, calamari, and sliders that have been dangled in front of my face has led me to slip up a few times. Then I’m pedaling for pounds the next day trying to burn off consumed temptation. And what’s this weekend coming up? The 4th of July you say? BBQ? Bomb side dishes? Alcohol? Weight Retained Dot Com?
I won’t lie to you. I plan to indulge this weekend. I won’t be as aggressive as years past, but I will enjoy the flavors and fats of all that touches my plate. I might even eat some salad. It feels dirty to say that for a multitude of reasons. And to prepare for the festivities, I’ll be exerting triple max effort in the gym for the next 3 days. It’s almost like I’ll be training to be moderately sloppy in my eating habits.
I’m gonna push to burn 1K calories per workout and eat my normal allotment of calories until the first BBQ touches my taste buds. I’m gonna try to consume more water than alcohol, though the chances of me failing are pretty high. I’m gonna continue to use the MyFitnessPal application on my phone to track my caloric intake just so I know where I’m at on Tuesday when it’s back to office politics as usual. You may think that’s extra, but just know I don’t want the extra pounds. I also don’t wanna cancel out all the hard work I’ve done over the last month and change.
So yeah, that’s my plan. I wanna come away from this weekend feeling like I didn’t miss out on anything, but that I also behaved to some degree. I’m looking forward to these next few sessions at the gym. I’m gonna be working up a big ass motherf*ckin appetite. And I say that with the utmost enthusiasm. Can’t you tell?
Barbells and potato salad,
Yeah I’m going to EMF in NOLA. I may not fall off on the eating tip but I WILL BE consuming empty calories with the libations since I haven’t been drinking AT ALL- I am hoping that since I’ve working out that my metabolism is in gear to just burn what I need it too lol (fingers crossed) and all the walking I will have to do in the humidity will keep me. Good Luck!
That’s the way to do it. It’s the only way to actually maintain and make this a lifestyle and not a temporary diet. Enjoy.
I’ve had cheat weekends before (that started as cheat days only smh). Enjoy! One weekend will not ruin your diet. You just gotta make sure that you don’t slide during the following week as you reminisce on those chicken wings you had and ponder getting more.
“being the recipient of orally administered skeet extraction”
*dead* ROTFLMBO!
That’s the right attitude! I support and am encouraged by your determination! If my metabolism wasn’t that of a 18 yr old’s I would be right on board! But since it is…*eats pizza for breakfast*
Good luck!!!
somebody somewhere is wishing that you burn in the fiery pits of hell. that person isn’t me.lol
Damn Slim! Just gonna front me out like that!? *sulks away mumbling* ole snitchin ass…
Oh, now, Slimmy Slim!!! Don’t be that way, boo! *kisses you so you can taste the remnants of my slice* Sharing is caring…
I feel you dilemma. I am going down to DC for the weekend with my friends which means tons of food and good times. I started at the gym last week and when I get back i’ll really get moving with my diet. My main problem has been that I have been mainly eating out of school dinning halls since I was 14. I’m used to walking into a large hall and having a full salad bar to whip up good tasting healthy meals. Now i’m here in NYC trying to get the fridge stocked and find time to prepare meals. Making my own meals? miss me with all of this.
But the main goal should be to just live life. The way to stay healthy is through lifestyle changes. You can’t eat perfectly clean 365. Enjoy the weekend. The gym and bland healthy food will be waiting for you when you get back.
“Barbells and potato salad”
Yuuuuup…. Sounds like a happy medium to me..
All I’m sayin is that I am going to enjoy this 3 day weekend and Synergy can kick bricks this entire weekend.
lol at this post.
you’ve earned it. enjoy.
First off…I laughed HARD at “recipient of orally administered skeet extraction.” Yea…that was pretty frikkin funny. Yea, I scared my dog laughing at that.
I understand your pain though, I want on the insane “Dr. Ian’s Fat Smash Diet.” I enjoyed it, because within 4 months of intense dieting and working out 2 hours a day, I lost 40 pounds…but then comes summer, and welp..yea…let’s just say I’m not doing too well right now. I’ve vowed to start it again AFTER the 4th because I know I am going to consume so many turkey burgers and mac and cheese, it’s not going to be funny, especially to my waistline! so, I’m with you..”F” it, I’m going to eat…and good too!!!
You actually be f*ckin’ with turkey burgers? I can’t. I’ve tried and I can’t. I’d rather eat a veggie burger. Scaling back on the red meat is a good look though.
What!? You don’t like turkey burgers? We just can’t be friends! I love turkey burgers!
Have you ever tried black bean burgers?
Black bean burgers >>
They’re tasty! Even my super picky husband likes them.
What!? You don’t like turkey burgers? We just can’t be friends! I love turkey burgers!
Have you ever tried black bean burgers?
You have to season the turkey burgers just right, but I like them either way. I like boca burgers, they are sooo good to me! I haven’t eaten beef or pork since 2008, so it’s not just scaling, it was a lifestyle change. Glad I did it though…
*I know I am late responding, but I just saw this*
Potato salad and pull-ups?
Barbecue and bosu?
Corn on the cob and cardio?
Aaah, I got nothing.
I think you did just fine.lol
Tomorrow is carb day for me.There’s a carnival at my husband’s job AND it’s my baby’s first birthday. I will be eating funnel cake and cupcakes. I’ve lost 26 pounds this year. I deserve to let loose and enjoy and I won’t feel one bit guilty. Enjoy your weekend Slim, you deserve it too.
LOL Im right with you son… everytime i break a weight plateau a effin holiday comes about.. but after the weekend its 2 a days until I drop. And we dont drop soooo lol
Signing off barbells and potato salad just made me fall off of my chair…
Too funny. Indulge and enjoy my friend.
Signing off barbells and potato salad just made me fall off of my chair…too funny
Indulge and enjoy my friend.
Trying to lose weight in the summer sux major donkey balls doesn’t it? We have no fourth of July to celebrate here but I’m missing so many all inclusive parties because I’m dieting. Ugh
where are you at?
Jamaica. (the island not queens:D )