Inspired by Rawse and Meek Mill’s Tupac Back.
Bag through tweets! Bag through tweets!
There’s all these silly niggas tryna bag through tweets.
All eyes on avis, tryna picture full bodies.
Subtle tweets and comments, tryna sleep with somebody.
They don’t think that I know. But I’m peepin’ they game.
They straight chasin’ them pixels, and I know that they lame…
Them niggas bag through tweets. Bag through tweets.
There’s all these silly niggas tryna bag through tweets!
Ughn!
Ya know, sometimes I’m on Twitter watching my timeline and I get sad. The same happens when I peruse the comment sections of some popular blogs with substantial communities and repeat names. I sit there shaking my head, looking up to Jesus, and occasionally down toward Satan because I know what I’m thinking in my head don’t make me shit and will probably send me to hell. I get sad because I’m not intentionally looking for story lines or gossip, but I find them anyway. I get sad because discretion is a lost art and these e-niggas try so hard to win online because they’re losing in real life. I don’t like to see my brethren lose. I really want us to win away from the QWERTY. But some of these cats…
*Sighs*
These f*cking relentlessly e-bagging-ass negroes. Like how many chicks can you compliment on a blog or twitter about their avatars? How many times can you publicly ask for pictures because you like to admire “true beauty?” How many far off places are you willing to fly, drive, or swim to because you know some e-chicks will be there and you wanna capitalize in 140 characters or less? How many gchats can you ask for? To quote the great Rza: “F*cking ridiculous!” Dudes out here on Foursquare checking into Lamont’s House of Lame Sauce and Wack Hollers.
Nigga, I can see you! If you’re doing this publicly, I can only imagine what you’re doing via DM and how many chicks have added you to a list called “Skeevy Cats” or “Thirst with Nuts.” Of course you’re wondering why I care enough to write a post on wack e-hollering ass negroids. The answer is simple:
I want us to do better.
Have I hollered at chicks online? Yeah. I have. The difference is you don’t see it. And if someone does tell me they noticed something, I make adjustments and ask whoever it is that I’m interacting with to make adjustments as well. You know why? Because I value privacy even though I don’t have a padlock next to my name.
I think “Have no shame in your game” is one of the worst phrases to ever be spewed on earth. Because honestly, shame is what gets people lashed across their backs or disowned in some countries (and even in the United States). E-hollering-ass-negro, step your game up. Don’t be the guy that proposes via twitter with a bit.ly link to a jpeg of a wedding ring to @30 chicks. You are not winning even if you do land betwixt some ratchet walls. Cloak your thirst. People will respect you more for it even though it’s obvious you don’t care about respect.
Disgusted & Humored,
For those that want to behold the ignorance, here’s the video to the song referenced:
LOL!! ive seen this countless times and i cant help think “dont you know i can see you, ninja???” guys and girls alike do all kinds of strange e-mating rituals across my timeline (and i sometimes see it when reading other ppl’s TLs).
i guess its easy to get comfy and lax on the nets. you think ppl dont really know you so whats the harm?? aside from murdering your e-credibility i guess *shrug*.
well a goon like me??? i keeps my biz on the low low…
**Puts e-panties back in the drawer**
For real though- I’ve noticed men but girls? Lawdy lawdy lawdy. Not saying that this conduct is acceptable from anyone but I would be lying if I said I was surprised that men are guilty of this. These are probably the same men calling me “mami” in the streets…. I don’t know how people forget that DM box sits right there and is miiiighty useful.
You can send the e-panties via email as an attachment.
the thirst being heaped upon me takes place in my email. I’m forever regretting even giving it out to this person.
Like, how many times can I say “no” before you get it?
and how dare you send me “stuff” I did NOT ask for and go even further to have the audacity to tell me that I need to return the favor…No, nigga, I don’t
this is when I don’t like being a Pisces. we’re too f*cking nice at times. I don’t want to offend you, hurt your feelings, or somehow manage to cuss you out (in a nice way) but you’re about to leave me no choice
there is no amount of Gatorade or Sprite that can clench the thirst in my gmail. I’ve deleted more than half of them but this time I got a video I did not ask for
“cloak your thirst” well, damn. you’re right though. smh.
So last night right?
Witnessed a dude sending out peen pics to peeps all over twitter and quickly was clowned away to oblivion… smdh…
Some have confused twitter as the new facebook poke… get away from here with all that…
Thanks, Management
last night??
try 10 mins. after Slim first announced that he was writing this post
then I get a message saying “delete that one, about to send you another and you have to return the favor”
*dies* at cloak your thirst. bwahaha.
LOL yeah i’ve noticed this more than a few times.
they like it i love it.
i just know me and mine will neva eva be tweet pimping. lol
those are people with no game anyhow, or they’d know that’s the FIRST way to kill that and other potential is to display thirst for someone all throughout a timeline or blog.
funny post.
Wow I need to pay attention I am so oblivious
I have this one follower that I’ve called out on his level of Carl Thomas’n. He literally subtweets about girls that curve his messages (whether it’s via DM, mentions, FB, text, carrier pigeon, etc.) and he literally gets so emotional. So Carl T. It’s disgusting. Then he tries to bag, right after. And I @ him, like “Dude… first you’re crying. Now you’re begging. We ALL see this. You have GOT to get your manhood back form whoever stole it from you. Must do better…”
Then I have another follower that feels everyone on his TL needs to know how “beautiful” “gorgeous” some girls are. I get it. Women Appreciation. *finger air spin* But not on this TL because I know what you’re really trying to do: win the Yam chase race. Let’s get it together people.
Meanwhile I have some talking about they want their face ridden. I follow the wrong bunch of f*cktards. How’d I GET so lucky?
LOL there was a guy last week who was literally having a spaz attack, crying, saying his heart was broken, that he will never trust women again, crying some more, eating dinner alone on the holiday, etc… all because some model girl blocked him on twitter. HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HER.
i was reading at first like awwww poor thing. he made it sound like they were in a relationship and she’d betrayed him. typing crap like **can’t stop crying** … then i realized he was trying to get other models to contact her so she would unblock him… like, what in all the hayles.
some people need to slowly back away from the keyboard and remember how it feels to interact with real live humans.
The other night I was reading tweets at 2am…LAWD. A blog regular just going off into the pitty party, woe is me, gimmie sum tweets. I think alot of men project this “winning with the ladies” image but you see in between the lines how far from reality it is.
I wonder…
Am I the only one not on (the) twitter?
Sounds like a good thing though because I’d hate to be bothered this way.
Slim ‘s voice sounded a little different here…. and yet the same….
I fluctuate between intellectual and ignorant depending on my mood and how recently I consumed fried chicken.
I see. Did you have red koolaide with your fried chicken? Or are you a ‘grape drink’ type of fellow?
I’m actually an orange soda kinda guy.
so is my mama
Sir. Count this among your top 10 greatest posts of all time. If you add “drops mic” at the end, count it among your top 5 greatest.
This was thorough. I have no more to say.
Oh wait.
Amen.
Damn I feel like im missing out on twitter because I never see this type of entertaining drama. There was that one dude who replied to everything I tweeted for a few days, but he soon got the hint and left. So I’m following all the right people or all the wrong people depending how you look at it.
And that aspiring porn start who posted a naked vid of himself a few days ago? Yeah, I’m calling him out. #Parchedmanheux
!!!!!!!! Slim, thank you for this damn post. E-hollering is a sickness, a plague, and it’s rampant in these streets. I’m siiiiick of it. Yes, sick of a sickness. And I’m stealing, cloak your thirst. Great writing here.
This post makes me chuckle because I always think that the under-30 crowd has TOTALLY missed the value of the art of discretion. Some of the old school cyberheads used to get mad pusseau from online hookups but you never saw it openly displayed like folks do today.
Dang I never see this in my timeline! Fuckery! I do hear about ppl gettin’ hooked up on Twitter…engaged and what not but not whatchall talmbout! I wish a n*cca would! Get put on bast so fast his boxers would be in shreds… hella funny Slimsterlicious!
Thanks for remixing my jam and sending me into a 2 min laugh fest. This needed to be said. My feelings on this has changed. I used to have a very public, nasty, ratchet e-booship with a comic book guy (lol) on VSB. It was mostly in jest for laughs (we never spoke offline) but it was very un-ladylike and since I’m a fcuking lady, I had a change of heart so I stopped. Some sh*t shouldn’t be in people’s faces/timelines/etc.
On the flip side, the DMs make me nervous though because I’m forced to respond and that’s where sh*t gets personal and real. Alittle too real for my taste. (What? I’m a fake thug like Rawse) I get annoyed with the e-hollas. I try to be nice cause I understand. Like my fellow goon Gemmie said, it’s easy to get comfy and lax on the nets. Ninjas trying to broaden their horizons and sh*t but I don’t want far away e-ninjas…I prefer my local niggaz.
LMAO thirst is real fam!
CHUUUUUUUCH!
Welp. Guess it’s gotta be me that says it. I like flirting. In real life, on the internet, at church, on the phone, with friends, with strangers, doesn’t matter. I’m a flirt. Yup, I do it WAY more on the internet, because it’s so harmless. I am never giving any of these fools the real draws so what do I care if they think they got my edraws? It’s fun, it’s not hurting anyone and if you don’t like it, don’t follow me or skip my comments
or just continue the epic gchats about me extolling all my annoyances. Works like a charm, right *name redacted*?And outside of “flirting” I also compliment folks – a lot. If I see some hot shoes or a pretty face or a fine body, I’ma say so. When I’m out and a random chick tells me that she loves my dress, that feels good. So when I have the opportunity to pay that forward, I do. Compliments are free. Lord knows people are free with the “Oh no she didn’t come out the house looking like that” so why can’t I tell someone that they are beautiful or that their smile is beamin on 10,000 watts?
If you ask me the “thirst” epidemic is only an epidemic because folks make it one. If two folks wanna eff on their timelines, let em, look away or enjoy the show. Unless that’s your boo or good friend, what’s it to you? Like, for real?
Yeah, it’s overboard sometimes, especially when the men actually think they’re doing something and that you’re fixin to hop a flight (and pay for the ticket) to eff this virtual stranger O_O
even though this does happen sometimes, so – can you blame them?. But you set them straight and KIM.I bet you, you have no idea the two edudes that I’d actually consider dating IRL. What you see on the web…that’s just fun.
/enddissertation
As a proud card carrying member of twitterafterdark, I must comment on your comment lol
You know I thought about you. I think the difference with commenters like us is 95% of the time, even though we’re being honest, we’re joking. (this makes sense in my head) I see you and I are very similar in that we joke around ALOT. We’re not really giving any e-panties, real panties, or wombs to anybody…like zilch, nada. Yeah we’re nasty and all dat but it’s all in good fun. I want to believe (in my head) that smart ninjas can tell the difference between real e-hollas and jokey jokes. Aint nan ninja (yes I’m country) can say dey got at dis. And if people wanna talk about it/ghcat, whatever. You still fahn. I can’t worry myself about who’s judging me all the time. I know who I am and online peeps can’t validate me. (I tell myself this to feel better) Do you girl. I think Slim is talking about men who pander too much and seriously try to holla at er’one.
*daps*
Yeah, I saw the point of Slim’s post and didn’t figure it was really about me/chicks like me, but I had some ish to get off my
amplechest. The rampant thirst accusations annoy me.And I’m glad that YOU get that I’m joking around, but lots of folks don’t. I’ve been called thirsty more than a lil bit. Yet here I sit, hydrated like a mug while those that are name calling are actually effing epeeps right and left.
Oh.
*sips contently*
zxctf l.,m;l,.khbgv “And I’m glad that YOU get that I’m joking around, but lots of folks don’t. I’ve been called thirsty more than a lil bit. Yet here I sit, hydrated like a mug while those that are name calling are actually effing epeeps right and left.
Oh.”
Fall out! Fall out!!
Star aint neva lied! lolol There’s so much h0e chit going on and the biggest yappers be the biggest slammers. Actions speak a hell of alot louder than words.
@ em or dap em!!!!!!
LMAOOO
Daps all around. Get it how you live it folks.
Oh sure… just joking. We’re not really thirsty. #LiesWomenTell LOL!
i really appreciate the genius level ebonics displayed in this comment. lmbo.
and yeah i thought he was talking about dudes too, Star. but i didn’t know gchat was so vicious. lawd. i swear i live in a blissfully ignorant online bubble most of the time.
when it all boils down, i really don’t care whom is boning — or trying to bone — whom.
it is funny to see guys REALLY trying to holler though.
Thanks my nig.
It’s good country living. I had to tell peeps not to tell me anything that’s said about me in gchat. I’d rather not know. lol the Black blog world is too small.
Yeah, I know the difference between those that joke and those that are serious. This is about men who are serious and just not being discrete.
You make some interesting points. Here’s my thing…
Anything done in a public forum is eligible for scrutiny whether one finds it important or not. The same way I wrote this post publicly and have to expect people will criticize or dissent is what people on Twitter, FB, etc. should expect when they’re engaging in public hollers and trying to quench by pixels. If I see what you’re doing, I have the right to comment on it or poke fun. The clowns engaging in this foolery make me feel the same way as young cats walking around with pants basically at their knees like that’s what’s cool. It’s not my problem and my life, but it agitates me all the same because they should know better. Negro be discrete = Negro pull yo pants up. (pause)
It’s all good Slim. People will always have something to say. I just wanted to say my peace as one that’s steadily labeled as parched.
The dudes in your post do look pathetic as do the women selling themselves online for the slightest bit of attention. I never disputed that.
*daps*
*chest bump*
*eye roll*
Thirsty ass cats, always trying to feel on your titties.
*smh*
:-p
Cloak your thirst….I fell out and then got up, dusted myself off and fell out again. Great point!!!
I believe I twote it right before or after I read this post but: “Sometimes, I feel like I open Tweetdeck & I get eHarmony or match.com and not Twitter…”
People go ham with extra lettuce for the e-buns.
Seriously this might be your best post of all time
and due to the fact that only Streetz and Twism commented, I think its fair to say people caught feelings.
Congrads to SBM fam on the blog wins over the weekend, y’all got robbed on best group blog.
I see something/someone I like… I say something about it/her…
As an currently unattractive/beta male with little credentials… If you are going to get some nani, you have to pursue…
Women (& men on the sidelines) will always complain when you are doing it wrong… They can be very self-absorbed & myopic
I don’t knock the criticism, but the only way to succeed at life is to fuck up. & fuck up alot…
Now as far as how I go about life in these eStreets (& in real life)… The first thing that comes to mind, I say it… If it gets me somewhere with said woman, then fine, if not, she’ll regret it later…
“The truth is the easiest thing to remember…”
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly… Who knows the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be those cold & timid souls who have known neither victory nor defeat.”
Teddy Roosevelt
P.S. Approaching women is something I get real defensive about because men who get consistent beats & women overall can’t relate and/or are unsympathethic and/or don’t care about the masses of men who are beta/effeminized who struggle with getting women * and are adjusting to want women really respond to…
So, when a man make an effort, (he is not trying to rape, stalk, harass the women after she has said no) he should be encouraged, not discouraged…
And of course women will get mad at men the way they approach, but will be the same women complaining about not having a man… Women… fuck you… There is no good reason why most of you can’t get what you want from men… We have danced this dance before…
You gotta just let men find their own way… and help them along if they ask for your counsel…
I am RSSing now…
i dont disagree Adonis. You gotta get in when you fit in. But that doesn’t mean you have to sell your integrity when doing hollering and SIMP every chick. No need to throw Hail Mary’s every down starting from the first quarter.
Good point… & Noted
For me, I stop caring about how I come across, cause for the average women who I meet everyday is just practice for the bombshells I fantasize about…
I don’t think Western women want to live in a world where men rarely approach, because it is discouraged by them…
Women are getting the men they say they loathe…
I haven’t read the comments yet…
But until women start hollering at men in mass numbers… I can’t take any criticisms seriously…
Most women don’t know or have what it takes to approach the men they like…
But yet, want to judge men for doing what they supposed to be doing…
MAN!! I thought it was just me. and it is so sad but whats even worst is the chicks thats falling for it.
I had to flatfoot roast. (yeah, im southern) my sister in law the other day. she comments on my facebook status, some thirsty dude from jr high comments, next thing I know there is awhole wall to wall on her page with him!!!
meanwhile there is another chick posting prayers on his page about how blessed their relationship is!!
But twitter is worse. I mean ninjas is really just dm-ing picks of peens and random wack a.s.s poetry. and shyt Fool. get it together.
It makes me wonder what the hell im giving off? Thats why I only communicate with a chosen few. I only frequent a few blogs and comment on even fewer. I also dont @random peeps..I have learned my lesson!