I am so much cooler than you dude.
You won’t see my picture on YellowBellyNegro.com, but I’ve come to learn what fear looks and feels like. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. We all know fear on some level. If you don’t know fear, you’re probably a psychopath. I’m not even gonna sugarcoat that. If you like aggressively “toying with” animals, you are absolutely f*cking nuts. Get off my blog and stay away from my family ya f*ckin Criminal Ass Mind. I paid Shemar Moore to tackle you while I eat strawberries dipped in chocolate and fed to me by a combination of light and dark-skinned chicks with both natural hair and perms and varying body types. Yo ass is in a black escalade now with cuffs and a face mask on. Hannibal ass negro. By the way, I was not watching Shemar tackle you. That was for the chicks.
But real talk (No Yellow Stream Kelly), as I’ve been going through this process of getting my life straightened out and developing this “business idea” I have, I been learning more about how I feel when I venture into unchartered territory. I get a little uneasy. I think about all the possibilities. I’m risk-adversed so everything involves a lot more thought than it probably needs, but it is what it is. And with this project, the thought of publicly failing at something I’ve semi-announced to the world makes me feel some type of way. Failing is part of life, but doing it in front of people that could anonymous tear me down makes it a bit more daunting.
The crazy part about this is that it’s a fear of success. Yeah, I mentioned failing but I’m so convinced in my mind that I’m on to something that I’ve already started thinking about what’ll happen if it pops off the way I want and expect it to. What happens when the only way to succeed is to take time off from work to go to places and events that wouldn’t have crossed my mind a year ago? What happens if I end up on the cover of some sh*t in a suit with arms folded and a photoshop job on my face? Let’s be honest, ain’t no magazine trying to have someone in there lookin’ smedium unless it’s a smear story. I don’t wanna be smedium. I wanna induce moisture and showers for those that don’t have the same parts as me. I want my girl (or wife) to slap herself in the forehead when she haphazardly wonders if she could do better. What man doesn’t?
It’s also something crazy to have a bunch of people cheering you on and telling you greatness is on the horizon when you think you have so far to go. They see something that you don’t. Doesn’t matter if it’s insecurity or just plain modesty. Maybe it’s just the nice guy in me. Pause.
All I can say is that I’m trying to embrace this fear. There are a lot of people that will never have the opportunities I have and I recognize that. Though my dad is watching from above, I’ll never be able to see him watching what I become…whatever that may be. I’ll never get the chance to sit down with him and say thanks for investing and believing. But in the meantime, I’m gonna keep investing my time and efforts into what it is I have going on. There will be setbacks along the way, but at the end of it all I just see myself being great. Why wouldn’t I? You should do the same…for you not me.
Ughn,
Hey Slim,
I applaud you for this honest post as most of your posst are. Realizing dreams and how great you really are can be tough for people. Especially if you are a modest person, a person that “people pleaser”, or maybe an insecure person. What I am learning is the time is now, not tomorrow or next year. Everyday take a step into the greatness that will be.
Yeah, I’m trying to get away from the “I’ll get to it tomorrow” mentality. At that rate I’ll be toiling in a circle of despair for wayyy longer than necessary.
BTW, Joe you don’t blither enldessly. Sometimes I wish you’d come on and talk more. I love reading those interviews about writing the process fascinates me. But no pressure I know you have your own writing to do and I certainly don’t want to get in the way of that.On the other hand, if there were any chance at all I’d love to just sit and talk with you about writing especially when it comes to my daughter. She showed such promise at such a young age and now she has just given up. I wish I knew what I could do to encourage her. I’m really starting to believe that talent isn’t enough. She has the talent IMO, but not the drive. I wish I knew how to re-light the fire she used to have.
Great Post. I am going through something similar.
Coming out of school I have so many ideas, dreams, goals to accomplish. But I’m a Capricorn we are ambitious but worry about every mini step we take and if its the right choice or not. I’m learning I will need to take risk and just fly on faith.
I’m also learning patience. I have one goal that I am realizing will take years to come to fruition. That is the hardest one to even think about. How bad to I want this? Am I willing to wait? Can I trust I will see the day when it will come true? I am so used to making plans and being able to put end dates next to them. This one I don’t really know.
I’m guessing that 1 goal probably has incremental goals/milestones building up to it. Hitting each of those should quell the impatience just a tad…I think.lol
lol yes you’re right..lots of work in between now and the end of the tunnel.
BTW you should read “Good to Great” great book with lots of inspiration from guys at the top of their game
Thanks for the recommendation. I’m gonna check that out.
Great accomplishments usually involve a great risk. Being fearful or nervous is a sign that you are taking a risk. So when you feel this kinda fear….just know you’re heading in the direction of a great accomplishment!
Can I just say your avatar cracks me up because I know the commercial that’s from. lol
I’ve been down this road. This is all normal. I want to say the cliche, with no risk no reward speech but you already know that. You seem well aware of the adversities you’re facing and how to over come them so go ‘head and trust yourself. There’s always a leap of faith involved with business. What’s the worst that could happen? I always ask myself this. If the gain out weighs the potential loss, then you have your answer. As far as what others will say…you can’t please everyone. You will ALWAYS have a nay sayer. I try to block out haters. Many of us wouldn’t be where we are today if we let adversity/failure get in our way. Think of all the “big shots” and how they made it…lots of failures and tons of road blocks.
Ok so don’t laugh, I’m going to quote Bob Marley:
““Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!”
I been reading a lot lately about all the people that have “made it” and the failures along the way. Even the greatest artists put out a wack project every now and then.lol
I have this fear of failure talk with myself at least once a year –generally around my birthday when I am nowhere near where I pictured myself the year before. There is such a great responsibility that comes with being “powerful beyond measure” as Marianne Williamson puts it, and responsibility is scary. But thank God you have so many awesome people around you who see your potential even when you don’t and hold you accountable so you can actualize it. Step out on faith with this business venture. No one great never failed! (Excuse my double negatives.) And no one is truly a failure if he can cash in on the experience! Either way, I’m sure you’ll get a successful book out of it! God bless!
Wow, I’ve been feeling this way lately. thanks again for this great post !!!!