This week was fairly swift and moderately pleasant. Went to the dentist and had no new issues. Got tested for HIV and received the negative result. This is the only time a negative result is a good thing. And the result wasn’t in doubt. I’m just happy to have updated papers to show when someone wants to be like “when’s the last time you were tested you nasty negro?” I can be like “well, actually…..POW!” and slam the papers down. Then I will request that she let me go in medium rare and withdraw right before the point of no return. Just kidding. Anyways, let me get to the effs.
Eff the fact summer is about to be over. I feel like I’m scrambling to salvage what’s left of it. I ain’t touched a beach yet. This shit is unacceptable. I gotsta do better. Actually, I already am…
Eff the fact I was nervous sending my boss a calendar update requesting a full week of vacation. The idea of being away from work for a week and change is a foreign concept to me. He’s been telling me to put it on the calendar for a while and I been hesitating. This is the product of working in sales-based jobs in the past in relatively corporate environments. Non-profit for the win.
Eff the fresh laundry in my apartment that still hasn’t been put away, the clutter in my living room, and the emptiness that is my fridge. I need an assistant or a…a…I can’t even say it. Someone just needs to keep me on task in life. Fall and winter aren’t too far away. Pretty soon people will be negotiating agreements. **scratches head** I ain’t signing shit.
Eff how late I was with the eff ‘ems. Ish happens.
Your turn,
Slimuel L.
I’ve been waiting for this all morning! #nothirst tho.
Eff the fact that I’ve been at work for two weeks and still have no access. I have clients already but no access to my systems. Eff that.
Eff unreliable people.
Eff this haircut that was necessary. Sometimes I love it but right now I don’t.
Eff the fact that I haven’t been to six flags all summer
Aight. Right on time!
Eff the temptation to cut off my hair. Once the Fall comes I’ll be able to endure the hairdryer at the salon and be grateful I kept the mane.
Eff hesitating to dead my old blog. I’ve tasted freedom and there’s no turning back! Fukkkit.
Eff feeling guilty for not posting today’s message as yet. It’s efffing Friday! And I just don’t feel to do jakkkshit (except walk my tail over to the beach.) Slim, ya comin?
Show me to the beach!
Eff office politics. I just want to do my job and have fun while doing it.
Eff simple people.
Eff the fact that I always forget Eff ‘Em Fridays!
Eff the fact that I now live in Southern Cal and it’s cloudy/foggy for half the day!
Eff this shift where I can’t even go out and enjoy Cali!
Eff not having a lunch break TWO days in a row.
Slim you might try: http://www.taskrabbit.com/ – they are new to NYC but supposed to be an excellent service.
On to my Eff Ems:
Eff having so much ish to eff that I don’t know where to start.
Eff procrastination. Procrastinators UNITE!!! Tomorrow.
That link is crucial. Will check it out in more detail and report back if I use it.
K. Bet.
Eff the two flies that have been harrassing me all day.
Eff my honesty at my interview the other day. When will I learn to just tell them what they want to hear?
Eff my diet. But only for the weekend.
Eff my hormones for letting me cry three times while watching The Help yesterday. I need to grow some balls or something.
Eff people who don’t keep their word. What part of the game is that?
Eff looking at spreadsheets all day. My eyes are crossing.
Eff Slim for sharing his requests to go in medium rare. The thought and images provoked by this send a chill up my spine and a shock through my body. I’m too old for this ish! I have work to do. I need to stay focused. SMH and going for a second cup of coffee…
I don’t even know how to adequately reply to this.lol. Umm, don’t have too much caffeine?
How about, “Welcome! Thanks for sharing.” Lmbo. No worries. I’ve regained my composure and am back on task.
Happy Friday!
Eff the neighbors next door getting it in with the window open – I don’t want to hear this at 10:47 PST
Eff that I only have 2 more days to be in Cali – I’ve missed my friends and fam so much
Eff all the food I’ve eaten while here – My trainer is going to kill me next week
Eff my ex for looking so good and making me question my commitment to abstain! Please don’t call me tonight!
“Got tested for HIV and received the negative result. This is the only time a negative result is a good thing” < that and pregnancy tests!
hmm…
I'm still saying eff job searches. Its a long process and lots of work
Eff The Help haters… I thought the movie was pretty good (I cried as well)
Eff beauty maintenance, sitting here trying to get the energy to do hair, mani, and pedi
Oooo haven’t done this in awhile!
Eff not being able to get a full night’s rest. I needs my beauty sleep!
Eff being part of a “team.”
Eff being expected to carry most of the “team’s” load.
Eff having to clean your own house.
Eff having to start working out again. But knowing I need to.
Eff trying to get it all done.
Eff not being able to take a vacation. Ugh.
Eff consistent inconsistency.
Eff jealously….just be happy for someone for a change.
Eff my work laptop….Dells suck!
Eff these expiring government contracts that are sure not to be renewed *sigh*.
Eff the trainer at bootcamp that hasn’t seen me in 3 months……and eff the thoughts that he’s going to keep to himself which I’m sure will include something like “she hasn’t made any progress!” *evil eye*
Eff my ability to stare out the window and daydream about…..nothing…..back to work!
Eff it all.
Eff the writers and producers for Final Destination 5 and Eff the fact that my 15 yr old son aka my movie buddy wants to see it and its his turn to pick the movie
Eff my husbands allergies triggering his asthma and rendering him unable to perform his husbandly duties (eff)
Eff my new job and being bored after 6 months
Eff this beef between my buttons and button holes…they refuse to unite smh #weightwatchers
And exhale…
Your first eff literally made me LOL. Ha ..I remember those days.
And to make matters worse FD5 was wiggity wiggity WACK!!! Like seriously lame.
Okay..this is my first time effin. So I’m a virgin..please be gentle with any comments.
Eff..FAFSA for making my son sweat it out and miss class while he waited for slow paperwork about his financial aid to go through.
Eff people wh o crack their gum. Especially men..ugh.
Eff the mouse that has mistakenly thought that I’m looking for a new roommate in my new apartment. Uh..sorry bud but your days are numbered.
Eff the hoodrats that stand outside the front of my building and talk so loud that it wakes me up thereby rendering my alarm completely useless.
and I’m spent. Have a good weekend everybody!
Ok your mouse comment made me laugh! Mickey’s kinfolk can be quite bold! Good luck with that
Eff adults (my sitter) that have conversations around impressionable listening ears (my 8 yr old) who then repeat things they heard
Eff the touch up, brows, mani and pedi that have to wait till next week
Eff school starting for my freshman, 3rd grader and myself
Eff my funky tude
Gotta do better
haven’t been here in a while.
eff that. ^ i’ma do better. promise. lol
eff the fact that i went to bed at 5am and woke at 8:30.
eff internal alarm clocks.
eff the fact that i promised a new Sliding Doors installment today. #dontfeellikewriting
eff twitter hashtags being a normal part of my text speak now.
eff the fact that i haven’t seen a beach all summer either.
eff the fact that if i did go, i’d have to buy new swimsuits
eff unnecessary medicine
eff nothing at all, because i’m positively *floating* ahhh… no Half-Baked. lol
lol. ok i’m done effing.
happy saturday Slimness!
Eff that I was looking for this post and couldn’t find it
Eff that the Landlord hasn’t finished “fixing” my apartment
Eff that Summer is still here! Get on already! I am ready for Fall!! Time for kicked up hot chocolates and strolls on cool nights!!
Eff phony people
Eff my lack of motivation
Eff
menboys who are calling me out of the blue, I have nothing for you as we won’t be going there again K I MEff my food obsessions I get obsessed with one food and that is all I will eat… I need to eat a balanced diet… pizza slice and a salad breakfast, lunch and dinner??? o__O
Eff that this is being posted on a Wednesday o_O