Damn, it’s been a while. Baby don’t move. Ah f*ck it, go ahead. I got 3 more rounds at my disposal. I’m lettin’ this 1 go early! Awwwww!
Eff the fact my face is still healing and I have an event in a couple weeks. I can’t be taking pics wearing those lil Nelly bandaids.
Eff that I’m using my passport as my ID and my replacement driver’s license hasn’t arrived. I’ma mess around and get pulled over while moving my car for alternate side parking. This sh*t ain’t cool!
Eff whoever took my sh*t and quickly spent 2K on my credit card. Pop rocks and bleach for your firstborn. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Eff this potentially fractured finger or torn ligament. I can barely sign my name and it sucks. Basketball season is around the corner and I refuse to be sidelined.
Eff the f*cker that showed up at my office unannounced looking for an interview and asking to sit down with the CEO. Really dude? Is this how you think you’re gonna win? Your breath is hot. You smell like b-o-l-o-g-n-a and booboo. I just told you I stepped out of a meeting and you’re rambling on about your credentials. I would hire Bubbles the Monkey before you. Get the f*ck outta here! **throws a bar of Irish Springs and makes it rain altoids**
Eff me for just discovering Carmex. So much better than chapstick. Soooooo much better.
Eff boo-hunting season. I’m already tired of hearing from people I ain’t heard from since the last frost.
Slim Jack Back! Slim Jack Back! Got all these muggafuggas sayin’ Slim Jack Back! Burp.