When I set up TRSJ, my goal was to have a place where I could post what I wanted when I wanted with no regard for traffic, comment count, subscribers, schedule, etc. And though I’d use this site to write like nobody’s watching, I knew that those who were interested in my thoughts beyond my posts at Single Black Male would be listening…reading…whatever. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. Just needed to say that because it was on my mind when I started writing this post.
As you can probably tell, I’ve been all over the place with my writing lately. Well, that’s if I’ve been writing at all. It has nothing to do with lack of interest. It’s more so that I’ve started finding new opportunities and discovering interests and talents that I didn’t know existed until recently. I’ve also been frolicking in spreadsheets creating budgets, schedules, to-do lists, and project plans for every aspect of my life. It’s the first time I’ve been this organized in a while. Actually, this is the first time I’ve been this organized ever and I think it’ll stick. Pause.
It wasn’t too long ago that I relinquished my regular Monday writing spot at SBM to Most (@MrSpradley) and went to a twice a month posting schedule (now on Fridays). And since I like to keep it incredibly honest here, Monday traffic on SBM has soared to new levels in terms of reader interaction and traffic. For the site, this was 1 of the best decisions I’ve made. For myself, it turned out to be 1 of the best decisions I’ve made even though I went through a stretch where I scratched my head and wondered stuff like:
- Damn, was my writing really that booty bunz?
- Did I really chase people away from the site that much?
- Is this negro taking blog steroids? If so, where can I get my dose?
I don’t expect people to totally understand these thoughts. I also don’t expect or need folks chiming in offering public critiques. Just know that I’m competitive and overanalyze things sometimes. It’s also a strange feeling to step back from something you’ve invested so much time in and watch it improve leaps and bounds without you. Add in that once the change was officially announced, I watched the excitement and enthusiasm fill my timeline on Twitter and on SBM. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel kinda shitty. But, sometimes you gotta give the people what they want. I’ve gotten over it since then, but not without a few positive realizations.
Relationship blogging is where I came from, but it’s not the place I wanna raise my family. Without it, I’m probably still a fledgling blogger by night and a peddler of oversized and obsolete x-ray machines by day. And as it stands now, relationship blogging is a niche of entertainment and sounding boards. When I write a relationship post, my first step is to figure out how I’ll entertain the audience. I have a sense of humor and write well, so I begrudgingly get through it. But I’d be in a much better place mentally if the first step in regularly drafting a post was to figure out how I can help the audience. Granted, if someone laughed at 1 of my euphemisms or intricately crafted jokes, then I’ve technically helped them have a better day but that’s not what I mean here. Put more simply, I wanna be a resource and not just a source of entertainment. It’s time to define my own path and not be at the disposal of those that demand more than they’re capable of producing themselves.
I’ve accepted that if I break from the niche completely that I’ll be doing myself a tremendous disservice; so I’ll continue to write relationship posts, appear at relationship-oriented events, share my opinion on relationship topics where asked, and anything else that’ll help me get to where I wanna go since most folks know that’s my hometown. Just know that if I’m still known as another “relationship blogger” at this time next year that I’ll consider myself no different than the homie on the corner in Albany, NY talking about a high school basketball game in 2001. To quote 50 Cent, “that ain’t good.”
But I still won’t half-ass a post,