G-Funk on Gchat: How’s everything going?
Me: A lot in flux. Trying to get organized. Realized I been trying to do wayy too much and not sure if they’re the right things. But I can’t complain.
G-Funk on Gchat: I feel like you’re always saying that. Stuff you’re doing and not being sure if they’re the right things.
Me: Yeah. I do say that a lot, don’t I? Damn…
Much of what’s on my mind right now isn’t just because I’ve been going through the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s because there’s still a lot to accomplish.
I’m sure you’re trying to figure out some things right now too. And as you know, with each answer comes a new question, a new idea, and a new road to go down. Somewhere in the last 90 days, you were most likely in a tizzy over something you’ve since solved or you’re still looking for the answer to. It’s hard not to get to that point when you see everything going on around you and it feels as if time is passing you by.
When I check Facebook, I see new engagements, marriages, and congratulations. I see people clearing bar exams, living out their dreams, and hitting major milestones. I see some folks welcoming new life into the world while others are mourning a loved one’s exit.
I’ve come to know death well over the last ten years. I don’t have a grandparent to visit or a dad to talk to about sports anymore. Family and friends of friends have moved on to something you and I both dread and never want to prepare for. Yet we know we have to make the best of things while we’re here. We want those that have passed on to be able to look down and smile at what we’re achieving. We want them to see how we’re applying the lessons they taught us before their departure.
You might think I’m crazy, but I’m pretty sure I have a cheering section on a cloud somewhere. And though their voices are mute, I can imagine them watching me like their favorite tv show. I can hear them collectively encouraging me to keep doing what I think is right.
The struggle for me is when there are tens of thousands of rights, how do you pick the right ones?
I have wisdom. I have success stories. I have failures. I struggle with direction.
If you read the post I wrote titled Beginning at the End: How Do You want to Be Remembered, you know that I’ve had several realizations as of recent. I’ve learned there are things far greater than winning a Black Weblog Award or building a supportive following. There’s more to life than getting a “sexy” job I can wake up and feel good about. I’ve accomplished both these things, yet I can’t help but keep asking “what’s next” even as I’m continuously clearing hurdles.
Let me put this in a slightly more vivid context. Try to follow me here…
You see one big timeline or news stream with other people’s lives flying by. You look at yours and it feels like you barely have one update per day or week. You take a step back and try to ignore it, but can’t help but to take a peek to the left and the right before looking at the mirror to get a peek at yourself.
You feel anxious as you think back to the beginning of your “grown” timeline and all the things you said you would accomplish. You look at that list and then where you are today. You’ve probably checked off less of the boxes than you’d like to admit. Or, you’ve realized that some of the boxes should’ve never been there in the first place. But, you know you should be happy to have the life you have today because there are people that would love to have what you have regardless of how little or how much that may be. And besides, you never question what God has given you.
The words of a reverend, elder, mother, father, brother, sister, or friend. And you are grateful, but you still don’t feel that you’ve accomplished enough of the right things. That’s the crisis. That’s the basis of this post. That’s the point that I’m at today. The point where you know what you’re good at, where your talents are best used, but you’re not in the best place to use them and need more help than you thought getting there. And when I say place, I don’t mean one particular location or a blog niche. I mean the combination of everything that’s happened before today, what’s happening to your left and right, and what’s in front of you.
I look to the left and see poverty alleviation and progress as an HR professional. I look to the right and see relationship and life improvement blogging…plus other stuff. I see collaborations, appearances, and challenges that start in my peripheral and progress to my direct line of sight as I take a step forward. I see new ideas that start close and get further away. I’m hesitant to chase after any of them because I’m unsure if I’ll follow them down a path that will turn out to be a waste of time.
People tell me I’ve done well. I say “Yes, I have. But I need to do more. Maybe I’ve done just the right amount? Nah, I can never just be satisfied. What’s next?”
And it’s this circuitous mode of thought that contributes to the crux of the matter. As I’ve had to learn and tell myself on several occasions: accept where you are today and take things 1 day at a time. I’ve also realized that it doesn’t hurt to have some guidance from someone that’s been on the same timeline and gotten to the general vicinity of where you wanna go. I’ve started to think about getting a mentor.
Sometimes when you’re having trouble guiding yourself, you need someone a bit more wise to help you get where you need to go. The first step is to think of the people in your life that you’d consider successful. The second is to figure out how you can approach them for continued guidance and support. The third is to ask. The fourth is to progress. It doesn’t matter whether you end up with your first choice for a mentor or not, you’re still progressing. And when you feel like you’re progressing, a lot of the other worries start to drift into your peripheral and out of sight.
And out of sight out of mind doesn’t always mean avoidance.
1. How do you pick the right rights?
2. Do you have a mentor today? If yes, how did you find one and often are you in contact? If no, is it something you’re considering? If not, why not?
With a twinkle in the eye,
¹Yes, I made up a word to play on a word.
P.S. Check out my latest post on UPTOWN Magazine online. This one is titled 3 Signs You’re an Over-Analyzer and How to Break the Habit.