#Priorities
People talk a lot about what they love, where they wanna be, what they believe, and what they wanna accomplish in life. But when you look at how they’re living, things often point in the opposite direction. And more often than we’d like to admit, those people are us.
We make proclamations about being devout Christians (or other religion). We talk about how much we value family. Then of course there are things like our careers and our extracurriculars — including organizations that we belong to. We speak of trying to change our lives and get to a better place. Unfortunately and because of our own doing, we fall victim to our circumstances then end up complaining and confused. We may not do it everyday, but we do it enough that it’s noticeable and have to remind ourselves to be grateful.
Like me, if you were to sit down and write out what your priorities are and think about how you spend your free time, you’ll see that they aren’t in the order that you thought they were.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post called “Beginning at the End: How Do You Want to Be Remembered?” You may have read it. If not, it was about what you would want people to say about you if you had to attend your own funeral. When you put things in that perspective, you see what you truly care about, which lays the framework for how you should live your life.
If faith without deeds is dead, then thought without action is dirt.
Take a minute and think about how you spend your time throughout the day. Nah, seriously. Think about it.
You know what your priorities should be. You know all the things that need to be accomplished. You know the work that should be done, the phone calls that need to be made, and the people or events you need to support. But if you’re like me or have ever been like me, you’ve found yourself passing up on people and places because you’re tired, or feel short on time that you’ve subconsciously stolen from your own wallet for a cheap unproductive fix.
What I’ve learned while reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is that if you want to accomplish something and you feel strongly about it, you’ll find a way to get it done. Nobody will have to push, you’ll just make it happen. And if you don’t get it done one day and then that one day turns into two, three, or four, then it probably wasn’t as important to you to get done as you initially thought. Yes, it may have been important for someone else. But for you, not so much.
The best example I can think of is work, because well…that’s where I spend most of my time during the week. I get all the stuff done that needs to get done. But most times (unless you’re my boss and have discovered this blog, in which case I’ll clear my desk tomorrow), it ends up getting addressed at the last minute because I know the deadline. Admittedly, this isn’t the best way to go about things, but it works…for me…for now.
The problem with getting things done at the last minute is that if anything goes wrong or you suddenly need to put out a fire, everything goes to sh*t and then you’re stressed. You’re rearranging other things you had planned. You’re cancelling on folks because you need to stay at work. You’re not making it to the gym because you had to stay late or stay up late and now you’re exhausted. You’ll keep telling folks you’re busy and you’ll wonder why you never have any free time. You turn your life’s priorities into a set of dominos that’ll end up falling on each other before crushing you.
But if you REALLY cared about that free time, you’d have it. You’d be efficient. You’d make it a priority to get stuff done early so that you can get to the other things you care about. If this isn’t an issue for you today, congratulations. You’re a step ahead of a lot of us. But if not, let me give you daps and welcome you to the club.
On the way to work the other day, I made a list of all my values based on the “begin with the end in mind” exercise. I typed with my Yeti claw some of the major roles I play in life:
- Son
- Brother
- Brother (Church)
- Nephew
- Cousin
- Writer
- Website Admin/CEO
- Colleague/Peer
- Direct Report
- Friend
- Associate
- Athlete (wishful thinking)
- Gigolo
Once I finished making my list, I thought about the way I said I wanna be remembered.
I ended up ranking these roles and outlining some of the values attached to each. The list ended up looking a lot different than I expected, but resulted in priorities I could be proud of. And just because I ranked them in a particular order doesn’t mean they need to be knocked off that way.
For instance, if it’s a priority to meet up with my friends once a week and call two family members, then I need to get all my work, writing, reading, and exercise done. I know that if I waste too much time during the day that it’ll have a chain reaction effect on the rest of my week and something will get bumped from the list. And if something keeps getting bumped from the list, then it needs to be dropped all together. But when I look at the list of my roles and accompanying priorities, I don’t wanna drop any of them because they contribute the most to making me who I am.
Oops, writing time is up. I need to study. But I’ll leave you with this, which you can imagine me shouting from the top of the stairs in a library:
Stop robbing yourself of time, relationships, and the things you love for the sake of the things you like.
Besides, if you can’t keep to your own priorities, why should anybody else make you theirs?
Actions speak louder than thought bubbles,
P.S. Check out my latest post for UPTOWN Magazine: 3 Signs He IS Just That Into You!
these last 7 habits posts make me feel like I’m reading a self-help book for free. I always finish feeling self reflective and mildly ashamed. I say this to myself daily… I’m gonna do better, be better and I’m in the same rut *yuck*.
It’s inspiring to see that if you stick with something the results are well worthy the struggle. And its nice to see you stay humble as you move past milestones.
My major roles include:
sister
aunt
faithful servant (I’m sure this should be higher)
daughter
cousin
soror/sister
friend
writer
gym enthusiast
dreamer (I’m sure this is actually first)
mother (one my ultimate checklist)
You made me realize I missed a role even though I indirectly included it, but should list it too. This comment was multi-productive as a result.lol. Thanks for support.
great post man. i’ve been meaning to tell you that i like the direction that your personal blog is heading it. very motivational and introspective. either way, i’m one of those people who procrastinates a lot (especially at work). i’m trying hard to break this habit but i’ve been doing it so long that its difficult.
my roles:
son
brother (x4)
uncle (x4)
friend
athlete
nephew
scientist
friend
frat
writer
social activist (working harder towards this)
I will take the time tonight to list my roles for myself. (but it was cool to read everyone else’s lol)
But I wanted to say I love this post. I’ve done a similar exercise before, during a workshop called “value driven goal setting” and I think it’s so necessary to evaluate whether your actions match your values and then whether your life goals mirror your values.
I did something with values on a staff retreat. Had us rank 20 words in order of importance. That was a real struggle too. Was def agonizing over where the words should be versus where they need to be.
Insightful post bruh. I find myself not necessarily writing out lists, gt keeping a mental tally of all that I feel needs to be done, and then not doing any of it. I spend time thinking of ideas for my next blog post, but never starting them. You inspire me to now go read The 7 Habits. I think I needed to read this today, thanks.
I have to say I like the direction you’re going with your writing. This is very inspirational and motivating. It’s funny the timing of this post as we are ending a year and about to embark on another. This is a great time for self-reflection. It’s so true that who we think we are usually doesn’t match what we do and many of us don’t realize that until we get older. I’ve spent majority of my life trying to please others, especially my parents. I’ve stressed myself out becoming this over achiever, trying to be the best at everything while leading myself straight into unhappiness. I think the problem is many of us try to do to much then get depressed when we can’t. As I’ve gotten older, I try to set more realistic goals. For years I would say I was going to get my Ph.d. That’s not realistic for me right now. Plus, when I set unrealistic goals I feel empty instead of fulfilled.
I haven’t told many ppl online that I’m a writer…or used to be. Copywriting is a part of my day gig but the fundamentals of writing stay the same: I write everything down. Getting my thoughts on paper, from reminders to goals, is a great way for me to “see” my plan. Plus, like you said, it’s a great way for you to see how your actions may/may not measure up to your words. Writing things down turns my words into a visual reminder of what I need to do.
My roles:
Mother
Daughter
Sister
Loyal Friend
Support System
Sexual Deviant
Web Master
Who I want to be: Wife, Psychologist, Inspirational Speaker, Mother (x2)
This post came at the right time Mr. Jackson . I’ve been jotting down things in a spiritual journal daily now for about a week, (my written letters to GOD so to speak ) which is basically a self reflection of things that took place in my life this year and things I am praying for and aiming to achieve come 2012.
I, much like everyone else tend to wear ALOT OF HATS daily but it comes to a point when we need to put them on the shelf for a little bit or just get rid of some of those fedora’s or cowboy hats all together without feeling guilty about it because it’s not healthy and after awhile it does take its toll (physically/emotionally’mentally).
Good Post!!!
Thanks for dropping in. I think we’re all guilty of wearing too many hats at some point because we think we can handle it or don’t wanna seem like we can’t. But when you get rid of a few, it’s amazing how much better life gets.
Story of my life. Hell, I’m robbing myself right now. I definitely won’t be getting much sleep tonight, as has been the trend for the past week or two. The sad part is that although I’m cognizant of the fact and commend you for all this self-improvement and motivational blogging you’re doing, I haven’t found sufficient motivation to change my ways. That may change in due time. I’m not as bad as I used to be, though, so I am ever so slowly improving. Baby steps.
I mean hey. As long as you’re not completely stagnant.lol
RIGHT?! lol.
This was good stuff. I have been rolling around an idea for a side hustle for a while. I need to get on it. #Motivation
Fiancee
Godmother
Daughter
Sister
Sister Tiffany
Grand daughter
Niece
Friend
Cousin
I know I rob myself if time. It seems like since my mom passed my weeks arefilled. Plus I am planning a wedding. I need time to just chill and relax, but I am determined to do this and that. In some instances I am pulling it off. In others nope. I feel this need to be there fir everybody because the way I cope is through being strong for them. I need to work on that. Thanks Slim you have given me something to think about.
For everything and anything in life we need to dedicate time, be a relationship like mom, dad, bro, sis, wife, kids etc. One should also make sure his/ her life is balanced with fun and full of life.
Like this post. By the way I got this new link which says something about my emotion my thought. Check it: http://www.memth.com.