Some people treat popular bloggers like celebrities. They put them up on a pedastal and make a lot of “I wish” comments when thinking about them. Stuff like this:
You seem so free. I wish I could write and be expressive like you. I wish I could make Youtube videos like you. I wish I could end up on a tv show like you. I wish I had 7000 followers and 7000 subscribers. I wish people cared as much about what I have to say as much as they do you. I wish I could pursue my dreams like you. I wish I was in a happy relationship/marriage just like you.
I’ve gotten some of these compliments. I say that because that’s what I take them as, and I’m always appreciative. It’s great to have people respect and admire the work you do — rather, the work they see. What people fail to realize is that they follow what appears to be a finished product. They don’t see the years of blood, sweat, and tears that came before the blogger or celebrity “made it.” They don’t see the late nights. They don’t see the agonizing over what works and what doesn’t. The wishers don’t see the self-doubt, envy, and destructive thoughts that run through the heads of those they esteem to be.
I understand aspirations, role models, and goals. I understand emails that come through at all hours of the day asking favors. It wasn’t long ago that I did the same thing. Sh*t, I still do it today.
I see people that have reached their destination (at least for the time being) while I’m still looking at mile markers. I email them to explain my situation and ask how I can improve. Sometimes they respond positively. Sometimes they don’t respond at all. But regardless of their response, I don’t wish to have their lives. I just wish to have a little guidance since they already know the bumps and turns in the road.
A lot of the folks that “make it” to the next level — bloggers and otherwise — soak up the compliments, share them on Facebook and retweet them on Twitter. They bask in the praise and accomplishment, but they don’t take the time to give anything back and it irks me. They allow themselves to get filled up with words of how great they are. Yet, they keep it moving without even a glance into their rearview. They’re confident and they’ve convinced themselves that they’re great. But they forget one thing:
You’re not great if you don’t show somebody else how.
Success and greatness are two different things. You can achieve all your goals. You can live comfortably and field offers for new opportunities every day. You can have the admiration of thousands or millions because of the path you’ve walked. But if you don’t take the time to show that you’ve went through or are going through the same things your admirers have, you’re not great. You’re selfish. You’re full of yourself. And if that’s the type of person you are, I want nothing to do with you.
Yes, people may eat up your words or onscreen display. But just understand this:
True greatness is in showing others how to achieve the same.
If you’re one of the people that constantly aspires to have what someone else has, whether it be writing talent, acting ability, or the skill to win influence, understand that you’re capable of the same with some hard work. Understand that the same people you look up to had the same thoughts you’re going through today. Understand that they’ve dealt with a bunch of insecurities and obstacles, but all you see is the end result.
For someone like myself that’s still aspiring, I’m no different than the person that sits next to you in class or at work. I wake up to go to a 9-5. It just happens to be that I’ve worked hard to develop a separate talent, and now people are taking notice. I still have a mother I need to check in with to make sure her health is in order. I still mourn the loss of my father more than three years ago. I still have skeletons in my closet that won’t disappear no matter how much spring cleaning I do. I still wake up on Monday mornings and wonder if I’m using my God-given talents to the best of my ability.
Many of the people you look up to are no different. They just don’t put it out there because they have an image to maintain and a reputation to uphold. You don’t need to aspire to be like anybody else or possess what they posess.
You need to aspire to be the best person you’re capable of and ask questions along the way. If your “inspiration” doesn’t respond, there’s always somebody else a lot closer to you than you think that’s willing to lift you as you climb. Don’t let a blogger or anybody else tell or show you differently. We’re all human and flawed. And with that being the commonality, you can bet they thought the same thing you’re thinking right now.
Bloggers are people, not Gods. Stop worshipping false idols.
Keeping It Positively Gangstah,
Church. Tabernacle. Mosque. True words, Slim.
co-sign!
and signed again.
and again!! great post!!
*holy ghost stomps all over the place*
So much truth.
Truthiness is so TRUTHY!! I had somebody call me once and was surprised that I actually answer my own phone. Whole time, I’m sitting on the sofa in my robe eating Salt n’ Vinegar potato chips. I’m reg’lah dinnamug!
RIGHT!!! As I sit in my PJs and write.
Sir!
Thank you. Great post.
Sharing, I know many that will enjoy this read.
Thanks. Can use as much support as I can get around these parts.lol
Wow. Truer words were never spoken. I loved the part about sharing your struggles with others so they will know that they are not alone…that we are all flawed and in the same boat. I wish more people did this instead of attempting to portray a picture perfect image to the world. The world would be a better place if they did.
LOVE this post! truth: none of us get to where we are without the help of others, in some shape, form or fashion. sharing this…blessings to you!
Excellent post, Slim.
Cute Avi Mere!
::STANDING OVATION::
Here’s the question: Even with all the accolades and a significant measure of success, are so-called successful bloggers happy or content enough with themselves so as to guide others?
Ha…
This is a good question. I think there are some folks out there that aren’t as happy or content as they appear to be. They’re doing something well, but still don’t necessarily know what they want.
I think he’s also speaking on the whole “each one teach one” thing as well. Many people spend so much of their time competing against one another, it’s a crab in a barrel mentality occasionally. I’ve pretty much separated myself from tons of ppl b/c of that, but I have no problem in helping someone else along the way, Rippa can attest to that. But, I’ve learned that sometimes page views out weighs humility.
This gives me a lot of hope. From time to time, I look at other writers/bloggers/journalists who seem to be more accomplished and I beat up on myself, but thanks writing something that helps emerging writers like me put things in perspective.
Thanks for dropping in. Glad you found this useful!
MAN! How true is this? I know I used to be horribly guilty of putting people I admire on pedestals…within the last half of 2011, however, I came to the quick realization that “famous” people are…well…people. They’re made up of the same things I am, have struggles just like I do, and even though *I* admire them, *they* probably had the same feelings about someone in the position they currently hold. It is taking me a lot to break out of my fear of asking “famous” people/bloggers for help or for a shot to show my talent, but the more I realize that the worst response I can get is a non-response, and that these are people just like me, the easier I’m finding it is for me to put myself out there. Great post, Slim.
I can’t type in tongues, but if I could…Amen. Selah.
You are the preaching the gospel on this one.
Reaching back or just helping or willing to advise is a key indicator of someone who is comfortable with their position. Someone who knows where their blessings come from. I’ve seen too many people lately, who reach a certain level of success and lack humility. I think that’s why God tends to keep us in certain positions longer. So that we appreciate it and remember when we finally “arrive” so to speak.
Thank you for your transparency!
Big ups for this piece SLIM!! Damn you took what I have been internally thinking and expressed it nicely. People don’t understand the grind and I think us blogger sometimes get caught up in our own hype too much and don’t have any humility about the game.
good post man. this is very true.
Perfectly written.
Ya mean some bloggers aren’t typing from a golden laptop while angels play harps around their heads? Bummer.
Amazing post Slim!
You summed it up perfectly, “Bloggers are people, not Gods. Stop worshipping false idols.”
That’s what it boils down to. We all start in the same place, with the talent God gives us and the ideas He plants inside of us. Where we differ is how we manage the fruit God supplies us with. It reminds me of the parable in the Bible where the master gave different workers coins. Some increased their amount of coins, others lost their coins (but did try to do something with them) and others didn’t act at all (they just keep the coins the master gave them).
I believe this is how people handle the gifts, talents and ideas God gives them. We all are blessed, it’s just that some of us don’t make the most of our blessings. We either squander them, do nothing with them or use them to our benefit. Ultimately, the choice is ours and ours alone.
Instead of spending time idolizing someone who is making the most of their blessings, it’s time for people to start changing how they view and what they do with their own blessings. That’s the key to life, the key to happiness and the key to fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.
Excellent comment! that last paragraph sums it up perfectly. Makes me wanna copy it and put it at the end of the post.lol.
Awesome post! I know many bloggers who are like that and I promised myself that when I got to the goal I wanted to be at that I would always give back. While I can’t always respond back to all emails I always try to retweet , reply to “fb fan page” comments ( I hate that phrase fan page lol) and even if its only a few lines try to send an email.
I will definitely be sharing this because there are so many so called “big time” bloggers that need a serious reality check!
We all have a voice and a story to tell…
AMEN!! It is very important that we pay it forward!!
Excellent post.
I came across this post via Twitter RT and I’m glad I did! Awesome post! You wrote alot of what I think from time to time! Not putting any blogger on a pedestal but personally I’ve learned alot from NecoleBitchie and Angel Laws. Those two get it! They share tons of information with their readers!
When I first became a blog reader, I was shocked at how bloggers were being glorified. I know doctors, lawyers, philanthropists, even rocket scientists who don’t get appreciated like that. It’s great to appreciate an artist’s work but to glorify the man? Unless I know them, nawl. I learned that lesson with Marvin Gaye. I went through a MG phase where I played his music 24/7…thought he was Mr. teach them how to love…until I found out he was a drug addict who abused his wife. Yeah I don’t know dat n*gga.
Also, it would be nice if the same writers who say they are just people and not to glorify them, followed their own advice. I see a lot of inflated egos. I know it’s hard not to let all the compliments get to you but nothing turns me off more as a reader than to see a writer who is not humble and full of themselves or ignores their readers via their blog or twitter, etc.
Amen! Gotta give back especially to the people that helped you along the way. Preach!!
Omgg i reeembmr when willow was taller then jaden look at jaden now tall && Sexy <33 i was there <33 luv u jaden xoxo <333 p.s they have grow up to be fine looking kids willow & jaden <333 oh yeah & trey sorry trey ) <3Btw Thumbs Up iF You Saw Mindless Behavior @0:23 (: O-M-G !
Saw this in my inbox and just had to come by to express how utterly confused I was.
this was amazing.
“True greatness is in showing others how to achieve the same” <-orders tshirts to give out like candies.
Can I get one of those shirts?
of course!!!
*oprah voice: and YOU get a tee, and YOU get a tee, EVERYONE GETS A TEE!!!!!!
*cracking up at desk instead of generating tps reports**
Great piece. I follow a lot of bloggers but I take everything with a grain of salt. This is partly because I can be super cynical, but always because as you say “we’re all human and flawed”.
I appreciate content creators that can take criticism but at the same time defend things that they believe in.
Hell yeah.
Great post Slim. My imagination is vivid so I can get carried away with thinking about how other people live, especially some of my favorite bloggers. Like for real, you all must have your dream jobs and go out and live like rockstars on weekends, dress impeccably and speak eloquently. I tend to glamorize that which is not my reality. Meanwhile, others may be thinking the same about me. It’s nice when people reach back out to others. Sometimes though, I wonder if maybe people don’t know exactly how they becamse successful and just fell into what they are doing. I like Mr Money Mustache’s blog a lot because he retired at the age of thirty and he is reaching out telling folks how he did it. And thanks for that John Lennon quote. I love that.
I’m gonna have to check out that Money Mustache blog. I laughed at the name, but it sounds like a great resource. Thanks for putting me on. Pause.
I have a vivid imagination too, so I know exactly how that works. It’s taken a lot of effort, but I’m settling down nicely and things seem to be working out as a result.
Dope post, and so true. As a relatively new blogger, I used to be so intimidated by more established folk. I always felt that I wouldn’t be able to measure up, or that there was no room for my voice – and truthfully, some people made me feel that way. Now I see it’s not about measuring up, it’s about accomplishing your own goals. My best posts are the ones where I’m the most authentic and honest, so that’s just what works best for me.
I’ve had some great people who’ve been patient and helped me out, so I make sure to pay that forward when I can. I’ve also learned to not take the rejection/ignoring personally anymore, and it just makes life that much easier.
I’ve never put bloggers on pedestals so maybe that’s why I assume most people have ups and downs, don’t become successes overnight, etc.
I take most things I read online at face value I just read the info find how it relates to me or inspires me, and keep it moving.
I did read something that stood out to me in this piece though about greatness: “You’re not great if you don’t show somebody else how.’
I think being great and showing someone how you did it are mutually exclusive. I don’t demand or expect others to be so transparent to show me how they got to where they are. Would it be nice? perhaps if I wanted to use their success as my model, but in general, I don’t think so. Everyone isn’t a “nice” or a “helpful” person. That’s just reality. I don’t think that should hinder others from striving to be their best selves though. My greatness (or your greatness) would not be measured by the same stick anyway….
“Everyone isn’t a “nice” or a ‘helpful’ person. ”
Agreed. But it doesn’t hurt to put something out there to give folks food for thought.
I think people should strive to be the best they can be no matter what, but the reality is there are some folks out there that are hindered by the comparisons they make it their heads.
This post is awesome! I’m also a new blogger and often doubt whether I’ll measure up to others I see and admire. I keep myself in check by meditating on the sentiment that I can’t use someone else’s compass as a guide on my journey and that my success will happen when the universe knows its time for it happen. I’m revisiting patience as a virtue;-).
Thanks again for putting it out there and for putting yourself out there! It takes some courage.
itgirlallure.com
I agree with some parts of this post and disagree with others.
I agree with the idea that readers shouldn’t put bloggers on a pedestal. 9/10 bloggers aren’t nearly as cool, or as awesome or as intelligent in real life as they seem on the internet.
I also agree the bloggers shouldn’t get hyped off the accolades of readers. I try to tell folks all the time that there’s no possible way for you to know how intelligent, tasteful or well read the people who respond to your work are. They could be bumbling idiots but you’re all gassed that they tweeted you something complimentary. Appreciate the compliments but don’t get high off them. If you’re going to get high off compliments, then you’re also gonna feel really sh*tty when someone criticizes your stuff. You just have to know you’re great while treating just the same the success and failure that comes with chasing a dream.
Now this: “You’re not great if you don’t show somebody else how.”
and this: “True greatness is in showing others how to achieve the same.”
I have fundamental disagreements with. I plan on being great… eventually … and when I am, I don’t think my greatness will be affected – one way or the other – by my ability or inability to help someone achieve similarly. Jordan never made another Jordan … but he’s still Jordan. Ellison didn’t discover the next Ellison, but he’s still Ellison. Greatness by definition, is rare, it is the exception. I believe everyone on Earth has it in them to be great at something. But despite this, there is still something that separates those who achieve that greatness from those who don’t. I haven’t yet put my finger on exactly what it is, but I do know, whatever it is, it’s not something that can be taught. It’s not something you can transfer from one person to the next.
Every one I’ve ever known that’s done something extraordinary, every biography of someone exceptional I’ve ever read, every story of someone being great I’ve ever heard, that person was completely self-motivated. Sure they had people who encouraged them along the way, and sure they had role-models and people who inspired them, but beyond all that, and more important than all that, they had an unwavering belief in themselves and their abilities. I don’t think people who are great need to show others how to be great, because I don’t think being great is something that can be taught.
I also don’t think someone who is great is required to tell everyone what they went through to achieve that greatness. Sometimes, the work just speaks for itself. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Good post and good comments. Interesting discussion.
I know you wasn’t talking to me but I feel like talking to you. How you doin? Btw, you are cool in person so hush. lol
I think what Slim is saying is not necessarily to replicate who you are or what you’ve achieved in another person but to simply show others how you got to your success.
There are a lot of “great” people who do this. Michael Jordan didn’t make another Jordan but he had a basketball camp teaching other children how to play and get better at their game. That’s giving back.
I know successful a writer who gives writing seminars when they can, Doctors who mentor, etc. Helping someone else by showing them what you did to reach your level of success is not about replication, it’s about teaching. I mean, what would Jesus do? If he kept all his godly knowledge to himself, he wouldn’t be Jesus. Na’mean? Most wealthy ppl give back this way…opening doors for others, etc. Everyone needs another to make it and no one can do it alone. If someone helped you, you should help another. You don’t have to but it’s the write (see what I did there?) thing to do.
If no one ever helped you with anything in life, where would you be today? You can’t make it off of vision alone.
Just circling back to this. SFG said the majority of what I wasn’t gonna say and said it better than I would’ve. There are a multiple of ways for people to show how they’ve achieved their own standard of success. I also don’t think it becomes an obligation for someone to help every single person that asks for it. That’s not humanly possible. But, you can let people know every now and then that you’re human and not invincible. I don’t mean “you” personally by the way.
Nonetheless, thanks for dropping a thoughtful comment. Glad the post and discussion turned out the way it did.
Thank you for sharing this. At the end of the day, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.
If you saw the last post I put up, I had a problem with that one leg.lol
Hey, it happens. I can respect a man who can admit that he has trouble getting his leg in his pants at times. Just means he’s human.
Saw this blog on an RT and I love this, man.
I’ve been blogging on my site for a while now and although there is a lot of hard work that is involved…half of that hard work should involve interacting with your followers, fans and fellow writers.
At the end of the day, I don’t want to be famous…I just want to be respected and writing provides me that.
Great post, bro!
Very nice, I’m gonna use that ‘there’s a difference between success and greatness.” It makes perfect sense.
Came upon your blog and this post via a RT a couple days ago. I truly appreciate this post because it rings true.
Good post.
Great post, and I truly believe helping one become successful enhances your success even more. The helping others part, sometimes does not always take place, nevertheless.
As a new blogger, this is definitely helpful information. I’ve been reading blogs for a few years and I thought that some of these people lived uber-glamorous lives lol. Sometimes I get intimidated with everything I read and say to myself, “What do I possibly have to contribute to the blogosphere that someone hasn’t already?” I’ve come to realize that my experiences in this world are no different/more/less unique than the next blogger, and that there’s space for me to share, too. And besides, once you realize how much work and thought goes into blogging, you can only imagine what the more popular bloggers go through. We all eat, breathe, and sh*t…sometimes you gotta realize that all that adoration ain’t even that serious.
I’ve been fortunate to have met some nice people in the blogosphere, but I have seen some bloggers get full of themselves once they get that feature spot(s) in “insert online magazine here*. Dude, where’s your humility? I believe good karma begets good karma…paying it forward never hurt anybody.
Great post.
I haven’t been to your site in a minute ( just catching your post on some other site) but this is a great post. There are some bloggers that i have alot of respect for b/c i know in a field saturated with people it can be difficult to make your mark. I respect anyone thats following their dream and give kudos to those doing it well. With the exception of some bloggers that i think are “summer time fine” (j/k a little) I don’t really give the actually blogger to much thought. I enjoy their work and leave it at that.