On Friday, I mentioned how I’m thinking more and more about being able to quit my day job and focus on my passions — running websites, career coaching, and writing to name a few — on a full-time basis. I spent a good portion of the weekend thinking about a conversation I had with my old boss last week about my career progression and what it’ll take to get to the point of being able to say no to the (proverbial) dress shirt. I also found myself thinking about a book I read a month ago titled Become Your Own Boss in 12 Months: A Month-by-Month Guide to a Business That Works by Melinda Emerson aka SmallBizLady. One of the first things she talks about is getting your life plan in order before you start strolling down Entrepreneurial Lane (My paraphrase). I’ve been writing here and everywhere about bits and pieces of my life. And to be frank, it’s been as fragmented in my mind as it has online.
So yeah, I’ve been a think think thinking. What is the theme of everything I want to achieve? What is the fundamental value driving me forward? What’s the one thing that makes me uncomfortable whenever it’s compromised? How can I use this to marry together all my interests and goals into a sustainable life plan? I keep coming back to one thing:
Freedom
Freedom is what makes me want to work for myself. It’s what makes me look forward to weeknights and weekends. It’s why I eat what I eat, spend the way I spend, and live the way I live. It’s why I take on so many projects that have nothing to do with what I do by day. It’s why my friends can’t get me to go out when they hit me up last minute. It’s why I crave alone time even when life is telling me I’m missing it. I love doing things on my own terms. Constraints make me green with rage.
I came to a realization though. Much of my rebellion against anything that felt like shackles has been to my detriment or — at the very least — put me at a disadvantage. I spent more than I should’ve because I could. I ate what I wanted when I wanted because I could. I laid on the couch when I wanted to lay on the couch because I could. I procrastinated because I could. How’d that work out for me?
I was the unhealthiest I’d been in some time. A good chunk of my disposable income went into things that cause chunkiness. I found myself sliding back into the habit of swipe now, dread later. The result? I’m not in a position to quit the day job flow anytime soon, I always just miss the train, and I have to wear a shirt in the ocean…which means I can’t go on vacation until I can be shirtless…which means I can’t Instagram myself on a beach or change my avatar to a summer picture that wasn’t taken in 0-something. Do you know how much this hurts my e-steem?
And as unpleasant as all this sounds, I feel pretty good. I come off positive here and elsewhere because I’m finally getting a grip on what needs to be done for me to achieve MY freedom. It’s about more than blog posts and maintaining an internet presence that opens doors. It’s about a total change in my lifestyle that makes sense now more than ever. (Well, that and I still have my track spikes in my trunk from college because I haven’t completely given up on my dream of charging down the runway a few more times. Jesus be a hamstring.)
What does this all mean in the context of TRSJ? It means you’ll get more content from me, even if that means a post arriving on the weekend. I’m excited about this lifestyle transition I’m going through. I’m even more excited about having the opportunity to share it with you. I’ve already got a post lined up about how I almost threw my scale out the window.
As for the career stuff? You can send me questions by using the contact form. Following the advice from Afrobella as mentioned in my Friday post, I’ll just say that I have something awesome planned that should be coming to fruition in the next 30-60 days. Today, I have a life plan. Everything I do going forward is just part of it.
When you look forward, how do you define YOUR freedom? Have you had an epiphany that led to a complete lifestyle change? If so, what was it? Let me know in the comments.
Change for the Win,
Wow, I am really excited for you and your upcoming changes. This sounds like it will take a lot of discipline but I’m sure you will know it out of the park. As a new SBM reader, I’ll be looking forward to more content.
Thanks for coming over and checking me out here. It’s a nice change a pace. And yes, the discipline will be crucial!
Great post. This desire for freedom/lifestyle change is running rampant in my social circles. So many people are feeling unfulfilled and wanting/needing to upend their lives. Good luck on your path. Not that you need luck.
I think a lot of folks are getting to that age where they’re having epiphanies about their lives. All these people getting engaged, traversing around the world, and changes careers is no coincidence. lol
This was a really good post. Freedom is the best ever. I have this dream of becoming a writer, so it’s really inspirational to read your posts and follow your journey.
Freedom!…in 2012. It’s the American dream redefined. Everything you said has definitely resonated with me. I want to be able to not only pursue my passions, I want dive into them head first and do back strokes in them. I don’t want to just nibble at them because I’m too full from my day job, that I barely have room to fit them in at the end of the day, so I wait for weekends and vacation time to devour them. I quit my demanding day job once and worked at a less demanding one so that I could have more time to focus on what I was more passionate about. I didn’t really have a plan and just hoped that things would fall into place. Well they fell alright, but not exactly where I had pictured. I ended up right back at an even more demanding job to pay my even more demanding bills! A job that’s so demanding that I was recently asked if I would be willing to work over my vacation (my passion devouring time) to help out the organization. Hmm, let me think about that one… Hello no! But I constantly have these waiting to exhale moments, where I feel like I can’t breathe until I’m free. I want my freedom, but this time I’ll be more strategic. I have goals and I have action steps. I’m doing and not just saying. I have a “believe it therefore I can achieve it” attitude. I have also realized that my day job is a stepping stone towards achieving my goals, not a big a** boulder standing in the way of achieving them. So with all that being said, cheers to freedom and the pursuit of our passions!
Cheers back atcha and a fist wave at nibbles!
Not trying to be anonynous, lol. Cheers to freedom… again!
I was at the beach yesterday and observed all the little kids playing in the water–hollaring, doing head dunks, backflips, one kid managed to get his friends to pack sand on him in the shape of a snake. The water was cold and i had a 2 piece on with a top to cover my winter pooch that had emerged lol. I was conscious about my body, my hair, whether or not the water was clean, etc. But I wanted to be like the kids–they were having so much fun! So I took my top off, counted to 3 and ran into the water. Once I got over the shock of cold ass lake michigan, I didnt want to get out lol
We were at one point fearless and innocently reckless. Not that my entire life has changed, but I know in some areas, i need to quit being scared and dive in.
Like you, the thought of being confined is completely nauseating. School, work, “hustle,” occasional fun .. repeat. But wasn’t it getting me anywhere? Why wasn’t I happy? What I realized this past summer after one of the hardest times of my life? Each step has to be meaningful. The key to feeling “free” is by not only making the temporary sacrifices you mentioned (I’m currently downsizing EVERYTHING) to reach the larger goal, but also doing things that feed the spirit. All this “conquering the world” can get pretty tiresome esp when that becomes your only focus. Make new friends, do little things that make you happy, take every opportunity to try something new, be mindful, & LIVE. Once I started doing these things, it was amazing what unfolded for me & how the process of dream chasing became part of my freedom. So many of us are waiting for that magical moment of happiness to come. Stop waiting, it’s already here!
I wish I had a like button. I’d make use of it right now.
I love when life starts to push us on the edge, giving us the desire to push back ! Your doing an amazing job with keeping the faith and focus. You are inspiration, not only for me but for young black men who need that same “push” ! Keep setting yourself goals and figuring out who “Slim Jackson” is, because I’m on this ride with you and I’m excited to know more and more about you.
You just gave me an awesome idea that I’ll be vague about for while.lol
I constantly have to remind myself to “Respect Your Journey.” I feel that I often assume the grass is greener, until I get to the other side. It’s only then that I realize how good I had it and what I truely had taken for granted. My day job is a means to provide, it allows me to vacation, over spend on the chunky rewards, and at times causes me to question why I devote more time to this then to what I really LOVE. On good days I recognize that the day job creates balance and it could be aLOT worse. On bad days I resent it completely and show it with my lack of enthusiasm and lack of follow through. In the end, the bad days really only hurt me, because I am the one who feels most guilty about it. And I am my most critical critic. I do my job, they pay me. I don’t do my job, they don’t pay me. Whether I do what I love or I don’t, it is still going to be the same. Good days and bad days. If I can’t manage them now, then how can I be sure I will manage them and appreciate them even when doing what I love.
I have found that going back to your roots does really help. msb616 mentioned the kids in Lake Michigan. That’s what I did, I thought about the things I LOVED doing as a child and did my best to include one of those each and every day. I bought a new bicycle, laughed and sang while my chub hung out of my swimsuit, and listened to more spiritually uplifting music aside from the silliness that Young Mula preaches (which I love too). On the bad days, I make it an even stronger point to stick with my routine. Use that break to go for a brisk walk, listen to Erykah, Common, India, Stevie while eating during my lunch break, call my mama, aunt, or daddy and remind them of how special they are to me and how grateful I am for all they do. Change is inevitable and the things we love and cherish often change in time too.
You sir on a path to greatness, I have no doubt. The ability to analyze, interpret and slowly – one foot in front of the other style – morph who we are and what we do is how I think we grow to greatness. Those who are most adaptable to change…..Is what I say.
Really appreciate this comment and the insight. Thanks for sharing and the words of encouragement. Further motivation to keep this going!
Hello Slim Jackson! This is my first time commenting here and I just had to chime in on this post. I have been doing a little bit of inward inventory so I can evict some old habits that are hindering me from making progress towards “free”. I stumbled across this article and it is encouraging on so many levels as well as confirmation that I am headed in the right direction.
Hey! Thanks for dropping in and glad to see you’re finding it useful! #fuel
Looking forward to seeing you around!
Don’t over think it. Do it! I started down the “entrepreneural path” as you call it lol in 1992. It actually happened by mistake. Back then a lot of guys couldn’t type and hated doing term papers. So I started doing term papers for some classmates. My best friend who has always been a NY hustler and entpreneur at heart encouraged me to turn it into a business. So I posted flyers around campus and bam business was soaring. I did this until I graduated. Since then I have tutored, designed my own jewelry line, written speeches, designed business cards,
done desktop publishing and designed web sites. I ran a very successful gift basket business in Atlanta. I have worked in Corporate America but I always did my business on the side.
At some point in your life you come to the point that you must examine your happiness. The 9-5 grind was getting on my nerves. You go to work, pay your bills, get 2 days off and do it all over again. Absolutely no passion there. I had a nice home that I rarely saw because I was always at work and when I was home I was so tired all I wanted to do was get some sleep and get some rest. Where is the fun in that?
Now I have my own business. I work when I want to. I travel when I want to and I pay myself when I want to. I am doing all the things that I LOVE to do. Was it easy getting to this point? NO! I had successes but I also had failures. (For example an employee stealing product and a bad business partner). They were all learning experiences that made me wiser.
So I am saying all of this to say. Follow your passion. Life will pass by so fast and you can’t get your youth back. Something that stuck with me was this guy asked me why would I spend all that time and money in college to make someone else rich? That really made me think. He said that if you are smart enough to make a corporation rich then you are smart enough to pay yourself.
I love to travel and over the weekend I spent the entire weekend researching how I could travel more. I am buying an RV and hitting the road!! I think I will write about my journeys. I am self employed so all I need is internet access and I can work from anywhere. How great is that?!! When you do what you love you will never work another day in your life. I wish you the best on your journey!
So much truth in this that I want to make it a post in itself.lol. Thanks for dropping in and sharing your thoughts!
To answer your question about ephananies I feel like I’ve been on a lifestyle assemble line where all the scattered pieces are finally beginning to make sense. It all started with a film I caught on Netflix by accident “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. My cholesterol was sky high at the time and I embarked on a juice fast- that changed my taste buds and my diet. I’m now a fresh fruit smoothie making machine. In December I began a “man fast” where I put myself on a dating timeout…it’s been an enlighting ride. In April after being laid off I decided to take my dreams of blogging and freelance writing seriously. Last week, I signed my first freelance contract with Madame Noire. So, what’s your point Danni? My point is committing to specific small changes is leading me to a complete overhaul and transformation. What’s most encouraging is that my naysayers are beginning to ask “how do I do it too?”
Yo! I saw Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead! It swayed me toward the green smoothies and juice in my life. Congrats on the first freelance gig. That’s dope. I’m sure it’ll open other doors for you.
I’m in complete alignment w/ this post, man!
For me, I had a hellish 18 months. And to top it off, I moved to a city I hate for a woman whose goals were going a little opposite on mine. I was getting sick all the time, ulcers, my pacemaker was wildin out, it got bad. Then last month, I really sat down and told myself to start saying “NO” more often. There is no greater sense of freedom than being able to say NO and not feel bad about it. I’m a Cancer so I tend to really be into family/friends, fostering those relationships, and at times being a pushover. I sat back and looked at the lives of those around me who have benefitted from my selflessness and it was like, they had the life that I wanted. They were steady building and progressing while I was just handing them the bricks. I’m probably not doing the epiphany proper justice LOL but that was my life-changing “aha” moment.
So I would say freedom is being able to put you 1st and giving yourself permission to be selfish.
This is great to read! No can come across selfish, but sometimes being selfish is the best thing we can do. You just gave me a post idea!
Great post, and its encouraging as well. Everytime I wonder if I’m making a move the right way, then I see its not, discouragement sets in. However, reading things like this particular post help me realize quitting isn’t an option. Redirect and get moving is the way to go.